Thanissaro Bhikkhu on Equanimity

"When we come to the meditation, the Buddha says that when there’s householder distress, you should try to cure it with renunciate distress. That’s a step a lot of us would like to skip. Renunciate distress there is realizing that there is a goal that other people have attained, it is possible, but you’re not there yet, and you think about all that needs to be done. Some people find this so discouraging that they aim for equanimity as something halfway between householder and renunciate joy, but they’re actually going back to householder equanimity. They comfort themselves with the idea that “Maybe there’s nothing to attain” or “If I try to have an attainment, I’m creating suffering and stress for myself right now. I’m getting upset over something I can’t see, so I might as well learn how to accept the way things are.” They try to anesthetize themselves to the distress, and end up with a very calm state, but again, it isn’t solidly based. It needs constant shoring up. You see th...

"Equanimity is sometimes taught with a defeatist attitude. A defeatist attitude says, basically, that there’s no lasting happiness to be found in the world, so you might as well give up trying to find it. Just learn to accept things as they are and don’t hope for them to be better than what they are. When you give up on your search for happiness, you can be equanimous and content with what you’ve got. That, as I said, is a defeatist attitude. It’s equanimity tinged with regret, disappointment, and a sense of powerlessness. It’s heavy and narrow, a contentment found by lowering your standards for satisfaction. We bow down to the Buddha, though, because he actually has us raise our standards for satisfaction, to accept nothing less than the ultimate happiness. There’s nothing defeatist in his attitude at all. In fact, he called the noble eightfold path the path to victory: You can find a happiness that’s not subject to aging, illness, and death, that’s totally free of sorrow. You wi...

"There are some ideas about equanimity going around that give it a bad name. One is the idea that if you fight your negative emotions, fight your defilements, it’s going to be stressful — and the Buddha taught us not to cause stress, right? — so we shouldn’t put up a fight. That’s what they say. They tell you to develop equanimity around the fact that you’ve got greed, aversion, and delusion. These emotions come and go, and you learn to be okay with that, and learn to let go of any desire for anything better than this. As Ajaan Lee would say, that’s letting go like a pauper. You don’t have anything and you tell yourself, “Well, I’ll just let go of all that wealth that somebody else has.” You don’t gain anything from that, and you stay poor. You could also call it the equanimity of a loser, except that when you don’t even put up a fight, it’s hard to say that you’ve lost." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "The Equanimity of a Winner" (Meditations11)

"Not all equanimity is skillful. Indifference is not skillful; just giving up is not skillful, saying, “Well, I’ll just have to accept whatever.” Even if you have to submit physically to danger, you have to work on your mind. And as the Buddha says elsewhere, if there are ways that you can escape the danger, go for them. But you do it in a way that’s skillful. But still, it’s largely a matter of training your mind." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Facing Danger & Hardship"

"We need equanimity in order to deal with difficult situations, but you don’t want to be equanimous about everything that comes along, “You know, the mind isn’t getting concentrated, well, I’ll be equanimous about it. Greed has moved in: I’ll be equanimous about it." Well, that doesn’t work. When things outside aren’t going well, the Buddha doesn’t say to replace them with more pleasant things outside or an I-don’t-care equanimity. He says to remind yourself that the real work, the real problem is inside. Replace householder grief with what he calls renunciate grief. In other words, when the situation outside is bad, you remind yourself that the real problem is not the situation outside. It’s the fact that you still have work to be done inside. That’s why you’re suffering. So that’s a case where you just can’t be equanimous about everything. This doesn’t mean that when situations aren’t going well outside that the other person may not be at fault. But the quest...

"In another sutta — Majjhima 137 — the Buddha talks about different ways of relating to pain, pleasure, and equanimity. There’s the pain, pleasure, and equanimity of a householder on the one side, and the pain, pleasure, and equanimity of a renunciate on the other. The pain of a householder is not getting what you want in terms of sights, sounds, smells, tastes, tactile sensations, and mental events. That’s householder pain. The pleasure of a householder is getting what you want in terms of the six senses. The equanimity of a householder is being determined that your mind will not be affected by any of the input of the six senses. Now, for most of us when we encounter householder pain, we try to find householder pleasures. But the Buddha said that a more skillful way of dealing with householder pain when you meet with it, is to go for renunciate pain, which is what I mentioned before: the desire to reach the goal, which at the moment is painful because you’re not there yet. The sa...

"We hear about awakened people who are extremely equanimous. But it’s not the case that the equanimity is the essence of their attainment. After all, the Buddha didn’t say nirvana is the ultimate equanimity. He said it’s the ultimate happiness. But the fact that awakened people have a basis for their happiness that doesn’t depend on conditions: That allows them to look at conditioned reality with a lot more equanimity. They’re not trying to feed on it anymore; they don’t need it for their happiness. So the equanimity is a byproduct." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Equanimity Isn't Everything"

"It’s interesting that Ajaan Lee focuses on what other people say as one of the tests for a mind that’s really at peace. The Buddha makes a similar point in one of the Dhammapada verses. “If, when other people say harsh things to you and you don’t reverberate — like a cracked gong — that’s a sign that you’ve attained true peace of mind.” This might seem strange. Why does the test lie in how you react to what other people say? The mind is very sensitive to this issue. We learn very early in our lives that our happiness is going to depend on how other people treat us. As children, we’re surrounded by people a lot more powerful than we are, so there’s always a sense of fear built into our relationships to the people around us. We become sensitive to other people’s moods, sensitive to what they might do, what they might say. As a result, our center of gravity is placed outside because we’re afraid of them, and we try to put up a wall outside ourselves to protect ourselves from them....

"So when you extend thoughts of goodwill [mettā] to others, you’re not thinking, “May you be happy doing whatever you’re doing.” You’re thinking, “May you understand the causes for true happiness and be willing and able to act on them.” This is an attitude you can extend to all beings, without hypocrisy, regardless of how they’ve behaved in the past. Now, in some cases — where people have been particularly cruel — this may be difficult. You might feel that justice requires that they suffer first before they change their ways. But you have to remind yourself that people rarely see the connection between their misbehavior and their suffering, so wishing for them to suffer — even when it seems to serve the cause of justice — would rarely foster the causes for true happiness in the world. It’s better to wish that people come to their senses and have a change of heart on their own, and that you’d be willing to aid them in that process in whatever way you can. After all, wouldn’t you...

"Remember that when you’re reacting strongly to something outside, or even just reacting to little things that come in throughout the course of the day, it’s not that they’re moving in on you. You’re going out and feeding on them. The earth doesn’t feed. The earth just notices and stays solid. When the breath energy in the body is solid, it helps give you that quality of mind that’s like earth. Again, this doesn’t mean you sit there and just take whatever comes. But you’re in a much better position to see what really needs to be dealt with and what doesn’t, which issues are important and which are not. In particular, you get to see your own mind in action. Because there will be parts of the mind that are still not like earth, and they’ll want to react. But if you can side with the earth side of the mind, you can see those reactions for what they are. See how they’re a waste of energy; see how they muddy up your thinking, muddy up your powers of observation. So when the Buddha talk...

"The fourth brahma-vihāra is equanimity. Equanimity is expressed in a different manner from the other three. The first three are expressed with the phrase, “May all beings be happy” and “May they do this” and “May they do that.” In other words, it’s a wish. Equanimity is expressed by a statement of fact. “All living beings are the owners of their actions, heir to their actions, and so forth.” This is not a wish; it’s a statement of fact. There’s no “may” there at all. Equanimity is the appropriate emotion to feel when you see that there are beings who are doing things that will cause suffering and that no matter what you do, they will not stop. Or they are suffering from something in their past actions, and no matter how hard you try to help them you cannot stop that suffering. This is when the Buddha has you reflect on the fact of kamma: All beings are owners of their actions, and there are some cases where their actions prevent you from helping them or your own lack of skill p...

"We often think that equanimity is simply accepting things and having no reaction at all, but that’s not what equanimity means. It means looking at things from a larger perspective and getting a sense of your priorities — i.e., what’s important, what’s not important — and developing equanimity for the unimportant things, where you can’t make a difference, so that you can focus on areas where you can. It also involves reminding yourself that when you do respond to a situation, it’s going to have consequences in the long term, so you want your response to be focused and wise. In order to remind yourself of that fact, the Buddha has you look at the human situation from a larger perspective. One of his passages for dealing with anger against someone is to think, “This person has done something bad to me in the past. But what should I expect?” “This person has done something bad to people I love. What should I expect?” “This person has done something good to people I hate. What should ...

"There’s a story they tell about a monk who once stayed with Ajaan Chah during the rains retreat. Half of the roof of his hut blew off in a rain storm, and as Ajaan Chah was later walking around the monastery to check on the storm damage, he noticed that half of the roof had blown off and that the monk was simply sleeping in that half of the hut that was still roofed. Ajaan Chah asked him, “Why are you doing this? Why aren’t you fixing your hut?” The monk said, ”I’m trying to practice equanimity.” Ajaan Chah’s response was: “That’s not the equanimity that the Buddha taught, that’s the equanimity of a water buffalo,” or we in English would say, it’s the equanimity of a cow. The point here is that the Buddha didn’t teach us just to be passive about things, or just to accept things. The basic concept of the path is the difference between skillful and unskillful, and there are times when simple equanimity is not skillful." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "The Equanimity of a Cow...

"As we go through life, we have to develop a lot of equanimity. But the Buddha said there’s what he calls household equanimity, where you have to will yourself to be equanimous, and then there’s renunciate equanimity, which comes from getting the mind firmly concentrated. Ajaan Fuang would make a distinction between what he called small-hearted equanimity and large-hearted. Small-hearted is when you basically give up on things: You don’t see anything better, and you don’t see that things are worth getting worked up about. It’s a mild form of depression, and that’s not what we want. We want equanimity that comes from a sense of being solidly based: The energy needs in the body are satisfied; your alertness is full, spreads wide around, doesn’t feel much restriction at all — just that need to stay balanced. ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Steps in Concentration"

"The second form of right resolve is to get rid of ill-will, which is the desire to see other people suffer. You have to look at why you would want them to suffer, and how you justify that desire to yourself. Go down the list of people you would like to see suffer and ask yourself: “What would you gain from their suffering?” There may be thoughts of revenge or thoughts of justice, you might say. It’s not fair that these people get away with all the horrible things they’re doing in the world. But why do you have to get involved in that? Why do you have to be the one who’s passing judgment on others in that way? It enflames the mind. There’s no real happiness there at all. And it leads you eventually to doing unskillful things. When the Buddha talks about developing thoughts of goodwill [mettā], it’s precisely because you need that motivation to nourish your own good actions. You want to be happy and you realize your happiness cannot depend on the misery of other people. So you ha...

"When you’re dealing with other people, there are going to be a lot of things you don’t like. You can’t let your likes and dislikes get in the way of your doing what’s skillful. If you treat the people you like well but treat the people you dislike in a shabby way, that becomes your karma. It’s not good for you. So you have to remember, you’re not treating people well because they deserve it. You’re treating people well because it’s part of your training. It’s part of your safety, your protection. The Buddha talks again and again about goodwill [mettā] as a form of protection. And goodwill always has to be accompanied by equanimity, just as equanimity has to be accompanied by goodwill. If we have just equanimity without the goodwill, we become indifferent, callous. We become apathetic. There’s that great story of the storm that went through Ajaan Chah’s monastery once. The next day, Ajaan Chah went around the monastery checking up on the damage, and he found one monk sitting in a...

"Then there’s also the reflection on equanimity: All beings are the owners of their actions . This is our reality check, because we realize that the suffering of the world is just too much for us to go out and solve entirely. There are limits on our time and our energy, and we have no control over other people. After all, people are going to be happy, they’re going to suffer, based on their actions . Even in a small group of people, you can’t get everybody to agree on what the path to happiness is going to be. Or even if they do agree, you can’t get everybody to practice the way you think they should practice. The world is going to go its way. We can either make that a source of suffering or we can decide that we have to accept that fact and then focus on what we can accomplish. After all, the Buddha couldn’t teach everybody. There were lots of people who would listen to him and didn’t agree and went off their own way. But he did something really remarkable. Instead...

"The Buddha says that there are basically two kinds of speech, pleasant speech and unpleasant speech. He divides them into different ways of being pleasant and unpleasant. There’s well-meaning and ill-meaning speech, harsh and gentle, timely and untimely, true and false. These categories of speech can be found all over the world. So when you’re the person to whom untimely, unkind, untrue, ill-meaning speech is directed, there’s nothing really strange about that. This is part of the human condition." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Stop Shooting Yourself"

"I have a student back East who’s on the autistic spectrum. She told me one time she could never understand why Dhamma teachers like to extol equanimity as the goal of the practice. As she said, she’s pretty equanimous all the time, and it’s not much of a goal. And the Buddha himself never said that it was the goal. It’s the last of the factors for awakening, and that’s led some people to think that that’s what the factors for awakening are aimed at. But all the factors are parts of the path. They’re meant to lead to something better than they are. They’re all means to an end. They’re tools for arriving at the ultimate happiness. There’s no place where the Buddha says nibbana is the ultimate equanimity. It’s always “the ultimate happiness.” So the question is: What role does equanimity play on the path? The first thing to notice is that sometimes it’s regarded as skillful and sometimes it’s not. When it makes you lazy, it’s not part of the path." ~ Thanissaro Bhi...

"The Buddha said that universal goodwill [mettā] is a kind of determination and a kind of mindfulness. Determination in the sense that you have to make up your mind that you’re always going to act on goodwill. It doesn’t come spontaneously. In some cases it may come naturally, but in other cases it doesn’t. So you have to remember when you’re dealing with people you like: goodwill. When you’re dealing with people you don’t like: goodwill. And then you want to go beyond just thinking thoughts of goodwill to acting and speaking in ways that genuinely embody goodwill." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "A Skillful Heart"