Thanissaro Bhikkhu on Equanimity

"There’s also resolve on non-ill will: in other words, resolve on goodwill [mettā] or equanimity, as may be appropriate, trying to have goodwill for all, even people who are really difficult. The purpose of this is to pull you out of the different sides of conflicts in a way that’s not escapist, in a way that actually is good for the people involved in the conflict. If you can help get them out, too, then you’re happy to do it." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Birth is Suffering"

"The second form of right resolve is to get rid of ill-will, which is the desire to see other people suffer. You have to look at why you would want them to suffer, and how you justify that desire to yourself. Go down the list of people you would like to see suffer and ask yourself: “What would you gain from their suffering?” There may be thoughts of revenge or thoughts of justice, you might say. It’s not fair that these people get away with all the horrible things they’re doing in the world. But why do you have to get involved in that? Why do you have to be the one who’s passing judgment on others in that way? It enflames the mind. There’s no real happiness there at all. And it leads you eventually to doing unskillful things. When the Buddha talks about developing thoughts of goodwill [mettā], it’s precisely because you need that motivation to nourish your own good actions. You want to be happy and you realize your happiness cannot depend on the misery of other people. So you ha...

"In our practice, we try to have goodwill [mettā] for all beings, which means that we not only wish that they be happy, but also that they create the causes for true happiness. Otherwise, the happiness is not going to happen. You have to understand happiness in the context of karma. Our goodwill for all beings doesn’t mean that they will all act in good ways or that they will all be happy. We’re trying to make that our underlying intention as we deal with our own mind, as we deal with other people so that all our actions come from a skillful motivation. An important part of this training is to realize that the opposite of goodwill should not be ill will. In other words, when people are not acting in ways that are conducive to happiness, we don’t have ill will for them. The alternative should be equanimity, which doesn’t mean indifference. It means learning to put certain things aside, learning to put your hopes and preferences aside, and to look at the situation: Wha...

"So for the sake of your own freedom, you’ve got to let go of any ill will based on the horrible things that people have done. You remind yourself that it’s for your own true well-being that you’re developing these thoughts [of mettā]. You want to be able to trust yourself so that you don’t do or say or think unskillful things around people who are difficult. After all, you live in a world where almost everybody is difficult one way or another. If you were to wait for the world to be happy and peaceful, with everybody behaving nicely, and only then you would meditate, or then you would be able to get your mind to settle down, you would die first." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "A Heart Set on Goodwill"

Saṁyutta Nikāya 42:6 Paccha-bhūmika Sutta: Brahmans of the Western Land , translated from the Pali by Thanissaro Bhikkhu On one occasion the Blessed One was staying near Nāḷandā in the Pāvārika Mango Grove. Then Asibandhakaputta the headman went to the Blessed One and on arrival, having bowed down to him, sat to one side. As he was sitting there he said to the Blessed One: “The brahmans of the Western lands, lord — those who carry water pots, wear garlands of water plants, purify with water, & worship fire — can take (the spirit of) a dead person, lift it out, instruct it, & send it to heaven. But the Blessed One, worthy & rightly self-awakened, can arrange it so that all the world, at the break-up of the body, after death, reappears in a good destination, a heavenly world.” “Very well, then, headman, I will question you on this matter. Answer as you see fit. What do you think? There is the case where a man is one who takes life, steals, indulges in illicit sex...

"In our practice, we try to have goodwill [mettā] for all beings, which means that we not only wish that they be happy, but also that they create the causes for true happiness. Otherwise, the happiness is not going to happen. You have to understand happiness in the context of karma. Our goodwill for all beings doesn’t mean that they will all act in good ways or that they will all be happy. We’re trying to make that our underlying intention as we deal with our own mind, as we deal with other people so that all our actions come from a skillful motivation. An important part of this training is to realize that the opposite of goodwill should not be ill will. In other words, when people are not acting in ways that are conducive to happiness, we don’t have ill will for them. The alternative should be equanimity, which doesn’t mean indifference. It means learning to put certain things aside, learning to put your hopes and preferences aside, and to look at the situation: What can be done...

"You forgive people for being different. And not just different: There are people who really do have ill will; there are people who really are motivated by very unskillful desires. You have to accept that that’s part of the human realm. But you can’t let that aggravate the mind. You realize that’s their business. It’s a sorry thing that that’s the way they are. If you can help them change their ways, you try. But if they’re resistant to your help, you just have to let them go. Work on developing wisdom in your own attitude. Just because someone else’s been unskillful is not an excuse for you to be unskillful, too — and it’s also not an excuse for you to get your mind all worked up. You’ve got to look after the quality of your mind, because the quality of your mind is what determines what you’re going to do. If you let other people’s attitudes infect your attitude, you’re behaving irresponsibly. So think in those terms until you get the mind ready to settle down."...

"You forgive people for being different. And not just different: There are people who really do have ill will; there are people who really are motivated by very unskillful desires. You have to accept that that’s part of the human realm. But you can’t let that aggravate the mind. You realize that’s their business. It’s a sorry thing that that’s the way they are. If you can help them change their ways, you try. But if they’re resistant to your help, you just have to let them go. Work on developing wisdom in your own attitude. Just because someone else’s been unskillful is not an excuse for you to be unskillful, too — and it’s also not an excuse for you to get your mind all worked up. You’ve got to look after the quality of your mind, because the quality of your mind is what determines what you’re going to do. If you let other people’s attitudes infect your attitude, you’re behaving irresponsibly. So think in those terms until you get the mind ready to settle down." ~ Thanissaro...

"So for the sake of your own freedom, you’ve got to let go of any ill will based on the horrible things that people have done. You remind yourself that it’s for your own true well-being that you’re developing these thoughts [of mettā]. You want to be able to trust yourself so that you don’t do or say or think unskillful things around people who are difficult. After all, you live in a world where almost everybody is difficult one way or another. If you were to wait for the world to be happy and peaceful, with everybody behaving nicely, and only then you would meditate, or then you would be able to get your mind to settle down, you would die first." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "A Heart Set on Goodwill"

Saṁyutta Nikāya 42:6 Paccha-bhūmika Sutta: Brahmans of the Western Land , translated from the Pali by Thanissaro Bhikkhu On one occasion the Blessed One was staying near Nāḷandā in the Pāvārika Mango Grove. Then Asibandhakaputta the headman went to the Blessed One and on arrival, having bowed down to him, sat to one side. As he was sitting there he said to the Blessed One: “The brahmans of the Western lands, lord — those who carry water pots, wear garlands of water plants, purify with water, & worship fire — can take (the spirit of) a dead person, lift it out, instruct it, & send it to heaven. But the Blessed One, worthy & rightly self-awakened, can arrange it so that all the world, at the break-up of the body, after death, reappears in a good destination, a heavenly world.” “Very well, then, headman, I will question you on this matter. Answer as you see fit. What do you think? There is the case where a man is one who takes life, steals, indulges in illicit sex; is a liar, ...