Thanissaro Bhikkhu on Equanimity

"It’s interesting that Ajaan Lee focuses on what other people say as one of the tests for a mind that’s really at peace. The Buddha makes a similar point in one of the Dhammapada verses. “If, when other people say harsh things to you and you don’t reverberate — like a cracked gong — that’s a sign that you’ve attained true peace of mind.” This might seem strange. Why does the test lie in how you react to what other people say? The mind is very sensitive to this issue. We learn very early in our lives that our happiness is going to depend on how other people treat us. As children, we’re surrounded by people a lot more powerful than we are, so there’s always a sense of fear built into our relationships to the people around us. We become sensitive to other people’s moods, sensitive to what they might do, what they might say. As a result, our center of gravity is placed outside because we’re afraid of them, and we try to put up a wall outside ourselves to protect ourselves from them....

"If your situation has to be a particular way — it has to be like this, has to be like that — you’re a hothouse creature. The temperature has to be just right; the humidity has to be just right. The fertilizer, the sunlight, everything has to be very carefully controlled or otherwise you’ll die. That’s not a strong plant. The strong plants are the ones that can live in any situation. As a practitioner, you want to try to make yourself strong in just that same way, willing and able to thrive in any situation. If you’re responsible for having influence on the situation, do what you can to keep it simple so that you can maintain your focus." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Contentment"

"The world outside is really hard to change. A lot of decisions are being made out there by people over whom we have no control whatsoever. You look at them and you begin to think, “Is the human race ever going to make intelligent decisions?” There are so many choices available, and yet people are making so many wrong decisions, and there are so many people whom you cannot influence. But you can have an influence starting in here, so that the way you create the world of your experience doesn’t have to cause suffering. It may seem like a small thing when compared to the world outside, but it’s what you can do. And do it so that you have a good influence on other people." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Contemplating the World You Create"

"You reflect that beings are free to choose their actions, and you’re in no position to guarantee that everyone will choose to be skillful. Not even the Buddha could do that. So to keep your focus on training your own mind, you have to develop equanimity in cases where other people are beyond your ability to influence in a skillful direction." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "The Brahmavihāras"

"If your situation has to be a particular way — it has to be like this, has to be like that — you’re a hothouse creature. The temperature has to be just right; the humidity has to be just right. The fertilizer, the sunlight, everything has to be very carefully controlled or otherwise you’ll die. That’s not a strong plant. The strong plants are the ones that can live in any situation. As a practitioner, you want to try to make yourself strong in just that same way, willing and able to thrive in any situation. If you’re responsible for having influence on the situation, do what you can to keep it simple so that you can maintain your focus." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Contentment"