Thanissaro Bhikkhu on Equanimity

"Not all equanimity is skillful. Indifference is not skillful; just giving up is not skillful, saying, “Well, I’ll just have to accept whatever.” Even if you have to submit physically to danger, you have to work on your mind. And as the Buddha says elsewhere, if there are ways that you can escape the danger, go for them. But you do it in a way that’s skillful. But still, it’s largely a matter of training your mind." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Facing Danger & Hardship"

"We’ve all made mistakes in the past, but we’ve all done some good things, too. Focus on the good things. Those are what give you strength to keep on doing more good things. If you focus on the bad things you’ve done, you just start spiraling down and it’s hard to pull yourself up. So focus on the good that you’ve done. Dedicate that to your future, dedicate that to the people you’ve harmed in the past, so that you can live in this world without a sense that you’ve got a big debt. You’re working on paying off your debts, so work at it every day, every day." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Focus on the Good"

"The more limited, the more narrow our concerns are, the bigger the sufferings in life are going to seem, and the more overwhelming. If we’re going to work on them, we have to make sure they don’t seem so overwhelming. We have to make our mind larger than they are so they don’t consume all our attention. Think about other beings: They have their sufferings as well. They want happiness as well. So in one sense, we’re all in this together, and you have to think about how your sufferings fit in with the rest of the sufferings of the world. To what extent are you actually causing other people to suffer? Also, remember that there are a lot of people out there who are suffering a lot more than you are right now. Even though you don’t feel their sufferings, at least it’s important to remember them to get a sense of perspective on where you are and what your problems are so that you can tackle them with more confidence — realizing as you’re sitting here meditating, it’s not just your iss...

"When you leave meditation, don’t really leave it. Try to think of the attitudes you’ve developed. You’ve had to develop some patience, you’ve had to develop some equanimity, some kindness for yourself. You’ve had to develop the ability to hold your thoughts in check, to exercise some restraint. Well, try to bring these qualities into your day-to-day interactions with other people. Learn some restraint, learn some equanimity. If you’ve been meditating properly, you’ve developed these skills. But don’t just leave them on the meditation cushion. Take them along with you. See your interactions at work, your interactions at home, as part of the practice, as your opportunity to spread some of the goodness of the meditation around. What this comes down to is that goodness shouldn’t be just for one individual. And if it’s really good, it’s not. The effects should spread around. Even though each of us has to work on his or her own karma, work on straightening out his or her own mind, deal...

"Not all equanimity is skillful. Indifference is not skillful; just giving up is not skillful, saying, “Well, I’ll just have to accept whatever.” Even if you have to submit physically to danger, you have to work on your mind. And as the Buddha says elsewhere, if there are ways that you can escape the danger, go for them. But you do it in a way that’s skillful. But still, it’s largely a matter of training your mind." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Facing Danger & Hardship"

"You want to remind yourself that no matter what comes up [in the meditation], you’re not going to let yourself get shaken. And as to whatever narratives you have regarding this person or that, you’re not going to let them get in the way, because the best narrative-dissolver is thoughts of goodwill [mettā], followed by thoughts of equanimity. That chant we have, “All beings are the owners of their actions, heir to actions,” is not meant to be indifference. But it does point you to something, which is that the extent to which we have involvement with other people, it comes down to what karma are we taking out of that involvement? Because every relationship has to end. What karma do you have as a result of the relationship? That’s the question. And it’s an impersonal question. We tend to think that so much of our happiness depends on being with this person or that, and having this situation and that situation with that person. And it gets very personal. It also gets very entanglin...

"Equanimity is what offers us hope. We can watch what’s going on in the present moment and learn from it, to the point where we work ourselves free. Equanimity isn’t indifference. It’s just the ability to sit and watch. Nudge things a little bit there, nudge them a little bit there, watch again. Because it’s in the watching and the looking: that’s where you really see, that’s where you gain your insight. That’s the way out." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Samvega"

"If you get into difficult situations with other people, you’ll notice that there will be a change in your breath. What can you do to work with the breath in a way that you’re focused not on the difficulties posed by that other person, but on the fact that you can still maintain your evenness of mind regardless of the situation outside? You can use the breath to help you with that." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "The Limits of Old Kamma"