Thanissaro Bhikkhu on Equanimity

"In another sutta — Majjhima 137 — the Buddha talks about different ways of relating to pain, pleasure, and equanimity. There’s the pain, pleasure, and equanimity of a householder on the one side, and the pain, pleasure, and equanimity of a renunciate on the other. The pain of a householder is not getting what you want in terms of sights, sounds, smells, tastes, tactile sensations, and mental events. That’s householder pain. The pleasure of a householder is getting what you want in terms of the six senses. The equanimity of a householder is being determined that your mind will not be affected by any of the input of the six senses. Now, for most of us when we encounter householder pain, we try to find householder pleasures. But the Buddha said that a more skillful way of dealing with householder pain when you meet with it, is to go for renunciate pain, which is what I mentioned before: the desire to reach the goal, which at the moment is painful because you’re not there yet. The sa...

"The fourth brahma-vihāra is equanimity. Equanimity is expressed in a different manner from the other three. The first three are expressed with the phrase, “May all beings be happy” and “May they do this” and “May they do that.” In other words, it’s a wish. Equanimity is expressed by a statement of fact. “All living beings are the owners of their actions, heir to their actions, and so forth.” This is not a wish; it’s a statement of fact. There’s no “may” there at all. Equanimity is the appropriate emotion to feel when you see that there are beings who are doing things that will cause suffering and that no matter what you do, they will not stop. Or they are suffering from something in their past actions, and no matter how hard you try to help them you cannot stop that suffering. This is when the Buddha has you reflect on the fact of kamma: All beings are owners of their actions, and there are some cases where their actions prevent you from helping them or your own lack of skill p...

"We saw all that insanity after 9/11, where people were willing to throw morality out the window because they were so scared. There was even that Buddhist teacher who said, “This principle that hatred is never appeased by hatred, that it’s only appeased by non-hatred [i.e. goodwill,]” was totally useless. Didn’t have any practical application when things were so uncertain. Actually, though, that principle was designed for times when people really are seething with hatred, when they have to be reminded that you can’t put aside your principles in a situation like that. When life is in danger, your first impulse may be not your best impulse at all. You need clear-cut precepts to keep reminding you that under no circumstances would you kill, steal, have illicit sex, lie, or take intoxicants. That’s why the precepts are so simple, to be easy to remember in difficult situations." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "The Ennobling Path"

"The Buddha said that universal goodwill [mettā] is a kind of determination and a kind of mindfulness. Determination in the sense that you have to make up your mind that you’re always going to act on goodwill. It doesn’t come spontaneously. In some cases it may come naturally, but in other cases it doesn’t. So you have to remember when you’re dealing with people you like: goodwill. When you’re dealing with people you don’t like: goodwill. And then you want to go beyond just thinking thoughts of goodwill to acting and speaking in ways that genuinely embody goodwill." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "A Skillful Heart"

"So for the sake of your own freedom, you’ve got to let go of any ill will based on the horrible things that people have done. You remind yourself that it’s for your own true well-being that you’re developing these thoughts [of mettā]. You want to be able to trust yourself so that you don’t do or say or think unskillful things around people who are difficult. After all, you live in a world where almost everybody is difficult one way or another. If you were to wait for the world to be happy and peaceful, with everybody behaving nicely, and only then you would meditate, or then you would be able to get your mind to settle down, you would die first." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "A Heart Set on Goodwill"

"We want people to be happy, but a lot of people are doing things that won’t lead to happiness — and you can’t stop them. In cases like that, you just have to say, “Well, that’s their business. We each have to take care of ours.” Because the things we’re responsible for are our actions. All too often, if we’re concerned about the actions of others, we forget about our own actions and start getting careless." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "With Goodwill for the Entire World"

"You want to remind yourself that no matter what comes up [in the meditation], you’re not going to let yourself get shaken. And as to whatever narratives you have regarding this person or that, you’re not going to let them get in the way, because the best narrative-dissolver is thoughts of goodwill [mettā], followed by thoughts of equanimity. That chant we have, “All beings are the owners of their actions, heir to actions,” is not meant to be indifference. But it does point you to something, which is that the extent to which we have involvement with other people, it comes down to what karma are we taking out of that involvement? Because every relationship has to end. What karma do you have as a result of the relationship? That’s the question. And it’s an impersonal question. We tend to think that so much of our happiness depends on being with this person or that, and having this situation and that situation with that person. And it gets very personal. It also gets very entanglin...

 "There are things that we like, things that we don’t like. Even the Buddha: There were things he liked and things he didn’t like. But he learned how to keep his mind from being overwhelmed by them. When people would come to study with him, some of them would listen to him but they wouldn’t follow through with his teaching, and they didn’t get the results. Of course, he didn’t like that. But he said he established mindfulness so that his mind was not overtaken by his sense of dissatisfaction. When the students did follow his teachings, and did gain awakening, it’s not that he didn’t like that. He did like it, but he didn’t allow the sense of satisfaction to overcome his mind. What this means is that the mind has to learn how to look at these things and not get sucked into them." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Caring Without Clinging"

"The Buddha said that universal goodwill [mettā] is a kind of determination and a kind of mindfulness. Determination in the sense that you have to make up your mind that you’re always going to act on goodwill. It doesn’t come spontaneously. In some cases it may come naturally, but in other cases it doesn’t. So you have to remember when you’re dealing with people you like: goodwill. When you’re dealing with people you don’t like: goodwill. And then you want to go beyond just thinking thoughts of goodwill to acting and speaking in ways that genuinely embody goodwill." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "A Skillful Heart"

"So our immediate reaction to danger should be not to follow our instincts to get angry or fearful, but to think of the larger principle of maintaining the good state of our minds. And we’ve got good advice from the Buddha on how to do that. There’s a passage where Ven. Sariputta talks about recollecting the Buddha, the Dhamma, and the Sangha. And it’s interesting for several reasons: One, he says if you’re being attacked, you should remember the Buddha’s teaching on what to do when you’re attacked. Even if bandits were sawing off your limbs with a two handled saw, you should not have ill will for them. Even for them, you should have goodwill. And so, you should make a resolve, “I’m going to follow the Buddha’s teachings.” And Sariputta says you also try to develop what he called skillful equanimity. Notice he places a condition on it: It has to be skillful. Not all equanimity is skillful. Indifference is not skillful; just giving up is not skillful, saying, “Well, I’ll just have...

"There’s a passage where Ven. Sariputta talks about recollecting the Buddha, the Dhamma, and the Sangha. And it’s interesting for several reasons: One, he says if you’re being attacked, you should remember the Buddha’s teaching on what to do when you’re attacked. Even if bandits were sawing off your limbs with a two handled saw, you should not have ill will for them. Even for them, you should have goodwill. And so, you should make a resolve, “I’m going to follow the Buddha’s teachings.” And Sariputta says you also try to develop what he called skillful equanimity. Notice he places a condition on it: It has to be skillful. Not all equanimity is skillful. Indifference is not skillful; just giving up is not skillful, saying, “Well, I’ll just have to accept whatever.” Even if you have to submit physically to danger, you have to work on your mind. And as the Buddha says elsewhere, if there are ways that you can escape the danger, go for them. But you do it in a way that’s skillful. B...