Thanissaro Bhikkhu on Equanimity

"The body, we’ll have to lose; our relatives, we’ll have to lose; society will break down at some point, whether it happens while we’re alive or after we die. But if it doesn’t break down before we die, the fact that we’re dying means that society is not going to be much help at that point. What will be of help is the fact that we’ve maintained our devotion to being skillful. And we see that as our top priority." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Worry"

"You can’t be responsible for other people’s actions. In other words, you can’t go through life making other people happy, because their happiness will depend on what they do. So, you focus on where you are responsible, on your own actions, and in that way, you give a good example to others. If they’re willing to follow the example, that’s how they become happy." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Good Heart, Good Mind: The Practice of the Ten Perfections"

"For the time being, try to put everything else aside. Just you with your breath: breath coming in, breath going out. This is one area where you can be responsible. There are a lot of things happening in the world that you can’t be responsible for. But where you focus the mind, what you do with the mind: That is your responsibility. So make the most of it." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Life without Regret"

"Equanimity is not the goal. We’re not here just to be equanimous about things, because there’s a sense of powerlessness in equanimity. You realize that there are things you simply cannot change as long as you’re in this world dealing with other people. They may decide they want to go to war. What are you going to do? You can protest, but what if they decide they’re not going to listen to the protests? What if they mow the protesters down? People do unskillful things all over the world all the time. This is the world we’re born into — and this is one of the relatively good ones. So equanimity cannot be the goal. But the fact that the reflection on equanimity is also the same as the reflection that leads to a motivation to want to practice the path, shows that when the Buddha teaches us equanimity, it’s not just a general indifference. When you have equanimity for all beings, it’s not just saying, “Well, who cares?” It’s more to focus you. There are a lot of things you cannot chan

"You have to learn how to develop some equanimity around areas of the world where you look at them and say, “That’s really sad that that’s the way things are.” But you have to look at how much effort you would have to put in to change those things and ask yourself, “What would actually happen if I did make that effort? What would be the unintended consequences?” Some things in the world you can change without any bad side effects, but there are a lot of things in the world that you have to let go. You have to allow them to be. Because otherwise there’s no way you’re going to be able to train your mind. And your mind is the only thing where you really can take charge and you really can be responsible." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Perfecting the Mind in an Imperfect World"

"The important thing is that you not get overwhelmed by the fact that things are not going well — because look at human life as a whole. Things don’t go well in human life. The body ages, gets sick, and dies. Nobody wants that, but it happens. We have to develop the kind of habit that’s not fazed by aging, not fazed by illness, not even fazed by death. You try to develop the warrior spirit that’s not overwhelmed by anything. When the battle’s not going well, the people who run away are sure to lose. It’s not that great soldiers never have setbacks. They have setbacks, but they learn how not to get overwhelmed by them. They take them as a challenge. Aging is a setback. Illness is a setback. Death is the ultimate one, but you don’t have to be overwhelmed by it. This is the good news offered by the Buddha: that you can train the mind so that none of these things will faze you. None of them will overwhelm you. So you keep working away and away and away at this habit of being truthful,

"Sometimes we feel that if we push, push, push, then things will go faster, but there are a lot of things in this world that don’t respond well to pushing in that way, especially when the causes and effects are delicate, as they are with the breath and with the mind. In cases like that, you want to bring a more nurturing attitude, to be willing to sit with things as they develop slowly. It’s not the case that we’re just accepting things as they are and leaving them that way. We’re accepting them as they are with the purpose of figuring out the best way to develop them in the right direction. That will depend a lot on them, not just on our own sense of wanting them to move fast. It’s like growing rice or any kind of plant. You want the plant to be a certain height because you know when it gets that tall it’s going to bear fruit or grains. But all you’ve got is this little tiny, tiny plant in the ground. What are you going to do? If you pull on it to stretch it and make it tall, you

"Human history is filled with people doing disagreeable things. So drop the perception that you or your loved ones are being especially victimized. Mistreatment is a common thing, and anger is not going to help you deal with it effectively. You’ve got to clear your head if you want your response to injustice to have a good effect. So try to develop some equanimity around the fact that injustice is universal, and then see what you can do most effectively in response to this particular instance of it." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "With Each & Every Breath: A Guide to Meditation"

"Often as you meditate you try to tell yourself, “Don’t react. Just be equanimous. Don’t get excited. Don’t get worked up about things.” And then you try to convince yourself that that’s what’s actually happening. You see ideals of what an enlightened person is like — very calm, peaceful, equanimous — and you try to clone the calm, to clone the equanimity. Remember, though, that Right Cloning is not one of the factors of the Path." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Suppressed Emotions"

"As the Buddha said, “You don’t go to heaven or hell because of other people’s actions. You go because of your own actions.” Those can take you to heaven; they can take you to hell. So why are you taking yourself to hell? And why are you upset with what other people are doing, which really has nothing to do, really, with you? It’s your actions that make all the difference." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Look at Yourself"

"This is the normal way of the human race. If you don’t like unkind speech, hurtful speech, untrue speech, find some other place to be born. But for the time being, you’re here right now. So just take this as something normal. When you see it outside as normal, your mind can stay normal as well. That’s how your goodness doesn’t get shattered, doesn’t get wounded by these things. You can still make up your mind, “I’m going to do good in this world, regardless of what other people say.” As long as you know for sure that it’s good, stick with it. Don’t let other people’s opinions get in the way. After all, the goodness you do will be yours. The words they say are theirs, so leave them as theirs, and things are a lot more peaceful in the world." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Hurtful Words"

"If your situation has to be a particular way — it has to be like this, has to be like that — you’re a hothouse creature. The temperature has to be just right; the humidity has to be just right. The fertilizer, the sunlight, everything has to be very carefully controlled or otherwise you’ll die. That’s not a strong plant. The strong plants are the ones that can live in any situation. As a practitioner, you want to try to make yourself strong in just that same way, willing and able to thrive in any situation. If you’re responsible for having influence on the situation, do what you can to keep it simple so that you can maintain your focus." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Contentment"