Thanissaro Bhikkhu on Equanimity

"Pass judgment in a way that doesn’t debilitate you. That’s the main problem with most people’s inner critic. It passes judgment and leaves no room for improvement, passes judgment and leaves no room for believing that you can actually do something right. Your inner critic has to be trained to understand that it is possible to put an end to suffering and you can do it. You have to be responsible, but you are capable and you really will benefit. That’s the other part of the bad inner critic, the part that says, “No matter how hard you try, it’s going to be a waste, so don’t even bother.” That inner critic has to be banished and replaced, not with an uncritical mind, but with a more skillfully critical mind — starting with teaching yourself to be non-reactive. You can see unskillful things in you and you don’t get worked up about them. You recognize them as unskillful and then you try to be very matter-of-fact in overcoming them. So that’s how non-reactivity functions. It’s a suppo...

"The more limited, the more narrow our concerns are, the bigger the sufferings in life are going to seem, and the more overwhelming. If we’re going to work on them, we have to make sure they don’t seem so overwhelming. We have to make our mind larger than they are so they don’t consume all our attention. Think about other beings: They have their sufferings as well. They want happiness as well. So in one sense, we’re all in this together, and you have to think about how your sufferings fit in with the rest of the sufferings of the world. To what extent are you actually causing other people to suffer? Also, remember that there are a lot of people out there who are suffering a lot more than you are right now. Even though you don’t feel their sufferings, at least it’s important to remember them to get a sense of perspective on where you are and what your problems are so that you can tackle them with more confidence — realizing as you’re sitting here meditating, it’s not just your iss...

"Look at the words of the reflection: “All beings are owners of their actions. Whatever they do, for good or for evil, to that will they fall heir.” It’s a recognition of responsibility, and it’s a recognition of cause and effect. This is one of the reasons why equanimity is said to be the highest of the brahmaviharas, because, to be skillful, it requires a large element of wisdom. It’s a particular kind of acceptance. And it’s a particular kind of indifference. The acceptance here is that if you want happiness, you’ve got to do things to find that happiness. You accept the principle that your actions make the difference between whether your goodwill will actually be brought into reality or whether something’s going to get in the way. The indifference is indifference to ideas that would look for happiness in other ways, aside from your own actions — such as depending on some outside power or some outside being to come and do things for you. You have to be indifferent to those id...

"Just tell yourself, “I’m here to learn.” And don’t compare your problems with other people’s problems, because you’re not here to solve their problems. You’re here to solve yours. Those are the primary ones you’re responsible for. Accept the fact that you’ve done things in the past that are leading to unpleasant things right now — pains in the body, difficult situations in life — and try to find the resources right now so you can be with those things unshaken and try to figure them out." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "A Mind Like Earth"

"If your situation has to be a particular way — it has to be like this, has to be like that — you’re a hothouse creature. The temperature has to be just right; the humidity has to be just right. The fertilizer, the sunlight, everything has to be very carefully controlled or otherwise you’ll die. That’s not a strong plant. The strong plants are the ones that can live in any situation. As a practitioner, you want to try to make yourself strong in just that same way, willing and able to thrive in any situation. If you’re responsible for having influence on the situation, do what you can to keep it simple so that you can maintain your focus." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Contentment"

"For the time being, try to put everything else aside. Just you with your breath: breath coming in, breath going out. This is one area where you can be responsible. There are a lot of things happening in the world that you can’t be responsible for. But where you focus the mind, what you do with the mind: That is your responsibility. So make the most of it." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Life without Regret"

“Even the Buddha couldn’t save other people; there were many people he couldn’t even teach. He taught only those who could be taught — in other words, those who were willing to take responsibility for their own sufferings.” ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu “You Can't Eat the Buddha” (Meditations5)

"You’ve got to make your happiness depend on your choices. Which means that when it comes to the choices of other people, you have to be equanimous. You have to keep your head so that you can make your choices well. Because that’s the area where you do have some responsibility and do have some power to make a change." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Keeping Your Head"

"You have to learn how to develop some equanimity around areas of the world where you look at them and say, “That’s really sad that that’s the way things are.” But you have to look at how much effort you would have to put in to change those things and ask yourself, “What would actually happen if I did make that effort? What would be the unintended consequences?” Some things in the world you can change without any bad side effects, but there are a lot of things in the world that you have to let go. You have to allow them to be. Because otherwise there’s no way you’re going to be able to train your mind. And your mind is the only thing where you really can take charge and you really can be responsible." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Perfecting the Mind in an Imperfect World"

“Even the Buddha couldn’t save other people; there were many people he couldn’t even teach. He taught only those who could be taught — in other words, those who were willing to take responsibility for their own sufferings.” ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu “You Can't Eat the Buddha” (Meditations5)

"We want people to be happy, but a lot of people are doing things that won’t lead to happiness — and you can’t stop them. In cases like that, you just have to say, “Well, that’s their business. We each have to take care of ours.” Because the things we’re responsible for are our actions. All too often, if we’re concerned about the actions of others, we forget about our own actions and start getting careless." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "With Goodwill for the Entire World"

(After a series of questions on political issues) Ajaan Suwat: The issues of the monks’ life are very subtle. The Buddha laid down rules forbidding us from even talking about these things, so I’d rather not go into these matters in detail. My main concern is what I can do so that you can depend on yourselves to attain peace and happiness of mind. That’s what concerns me: how each of us can learn how to depend on ourselves, so that our minds are solid and don’t waver in line with events, so that we can look after ourselves in a way allowing us to escape the dangers of the sufferings arising within us. Every person has suffering, and every person is only one person. There’s nobody who’s two. If each of us looks after our one person, without oppressing anyone or harming anyone, there would be no problems. The problem is that we don’t look after ourselves, and expect help to come from outside. That means that we abandon our responsibilities, and that’s why there’s injustice in the world —...

"You forgive people for being different. And not just different: There are people who really do have ill will; there are people who really are motivated by very unskillful desires. You have to accept that that’s part of the human realm. But you can’t let that aggravate the mind. You realize that’s their business. It’s a sorry thing that that’s the way they are. If you can help them change their ways, you try. But if they’re resistant to your help, you just have to let them go. Work on developing wisdom in your own attitude. Just because someone else’s been unskillful is not an excuse for you to be unskillful, too — and it’s also not an excuse for you to get your mind all worked up. You’ve got to look after the quality of your mind, because the quality of your mind is what determines what you’re going to do. If you let other people’s attitudes infect your attitude, you’re behaving irresponsibly. So think in those terms until you get the mind ready to settle down."...

"The Buddha never told us just to sit there and accept things. You accept the way things function in terms of your actions and then you train the mind to use that principle of cause and effect to create a path. The equanimity is part of that path, but it’s not the whole path — and it’s not the goal. Recently I heard of a monk trained in the forest tradition saying that equanimity was the goal and we’re here to arrive at right view, accepting the fact that everything is inconstant, arises and passes away, and just be okay with that — which is appalling. The Buddha never taught that, nor did the great ajaans. His images, their images, for people on the path are never images of people who just sit back and accept. They’re people who are searching, people who are engaged in a battle, people who are trying to develop skills. Now, equanimity has a role in developing a skill. It has a role in battles. It has a role in searches. In other words, you look and look and look and when you don’...

"You forgive people for being different. And not just different: There are people who really do have ill will; there are people who really are motivated by very unskillful desires. You have to accept that that’s part of the human realm. But you can’t let that aggravate the mind. You realize that’s their business. It’s a sorry thing that that’s the way they are. If you can help them change their ways, you try. But if they’re resistant to your help, you just have to let them go. Work on developing wisdom in your own attitude. Just because someone else’s been unskillful is not an excuse for you to be unskillful, too — and it’s also not an excuse for you to get your mind all worked up. You’ve got to look after the quality of your mind, because the quality of your mind is what determines what you’re going to do. If you let other people’s attitudes infect your attitude, you’re behaving irresponsibly. So think in those terms until you get the mind ready to settle down." ~ Thanissaro...

"Just tell yourself, “I’m here to learn.” And don’t compare your problems with other people’s problems, because you’re not here to solve their problems. You’re here to solve yours. Those are the primary ones you’re responsible for. Accept the fact that you’ve done things in the past that are leading to unpleasant things right now — pains in the body, difficult situations in life — and try to find the resources right now so you can be with those things unshaken and try to figure them out." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "A Mind Like Earth"

"You can’t be responsible for other people’s actions. In other words, you can’t go through life making other people happy, because their happiness will depend on what they do. So, you focus on where you are responsible, on your own actions, and in that way, you give a good example to others. If they’re willing to follow the example, that’s how they become happy." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Good Heart, Good Mind: The Practice of the Ten Perfections"

"For the time being, try to put everything else aside. Just you with your breath: breath coming in, breath going out. This is one area where you can be responsible. There are a lot of things happening in the world that you can’t be responsible for. But where you focus the mind, what you do with the mind: That is your responsibility. So make the most of it." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Life without Regret"

"You have to learn how to develop some equanimity around areas of the world where you look at them and say, “That’s really sad that that’s the way things are.” But you have to look at how much effort you would have to put in to change those things and ask yourself, “What would actually happen if I did make that effort? What would be the unintended consequences?” Some things in the world you can change without any bad side effects, but there are a lot of things in the world that you have to let go. You have to allow them to be. Because otherwise there’s no way you’re going to be able to train your mind. And your mind is the only thing where you really can take charge and you really can be responsible." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Perfecting the Mind in an Imperfect World"

"If your situation has to be a particular way — it has to be like this, has to be like that — you’re a hothouse creature. The temperature has to be just right; the humidity has to be just right. The fertilizer, the sunlight, everything has to be very carefully controlled or otherwise you’ll die. That’s not a strong plant. The strong plants are the ones that can live in any situation. As a practitioner, you want to try to make yourself strong in just that same way, willing and able to thrive in any situation. If you’re responsible for having influence on the situation, do what you can to keep it simple so that you can maintain your focus." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Contentment"