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Showing posts with the label Giving Up

When your equanimity is based on well-being, it’s expansive and light. Because it comes from well-being, there’s no regret or disappointment or powerlessness at all. It’s a state of calm that’s really satisfying.

"Equanimity is sometimes taught with a defeatist attitude. A defeatist attitude says, basically, that there’s no lasting happiness to be found in the world, so you might as well give up trying to find it. Just learn to accept things as they are and don’t hope for them to be better than what they are. When you give up on your search for happiness, you can be equanimous and content with what you’ve got. That, as I said, is a defeatist attitude. It’s equanimity tinged with regret, disappointment, and a sense of powerlessness. It’s heavy and narrow, a contentment found by lowering your standards for satisfaction. We bow down to the Buddha, though, because he actually has us raise our standards for satisfaction, to accept nothing less than the ultimate happiness. There’s nothing defeatist in his attitude at all. In fact, he called the noble eightfold path the path to victory: You can find a happiness that’s not subject to aging, illness, and death, that’s totally free of sorrow. You wi...

Not all equanimity is skillful. Indifference is not skillful; just giving up is not skillful. You have to work on your mind.

"Not all equanimity is skillful. Indifference is not skillful; just giving up is not skillful, saying, “Well, I’ll just have to accept whatever.” Even if you have to submit physically to danger, you have to work on your mind. And as the Buddha says elsewhere, if there are ways that you can escape the danger, go for them. But you do it in a way that’s skillful. But still, it’s largely a matter of training your mind." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Facing Danger & Hardship"

Ajaan Fuang would make a distinction between what he called small-hearted equanimity and large-hearted. Small-hearted is when you basically give up on things: You don’t see anything better, and you don’t see that things are worth getting worked up about.

"As we go through life, we have to develop a lot of equanimity. But the Buddha said there’s what he calls household equanimity, where you have to will yourself to be equanimous, and then there’s renunciate equanimity, which comes from getting the mind firmly concentrated. Ajaan Fuang would make a distinction between what he called small-hearted equanimity and large-hearted. Small-hearted is when you basically give up on things: You don’t see anything better, and you don’t see that things are worth getting worked up about. It’s a mild form of depression, and that’s not what we want. We want equanimity that comes from a sense of being solidly based: The energy needs in the body are satisfied; your alertness is full, spreads wide around, doesn’t feel much restriction at all — just that need to stay balanced. ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Steps in Concentration"

The equanimity of the Buddha is the equanimity that says, “Things may be going poorly but I’m not going to let that sap my strength. I’m going to figure out what *can* be done here.” You have to strengthen yourself.

"There are two kinds of equanimity. There’s the kind that says, “Okay, I’m just going to be okay with whatever comes up and stay there.” That kind of equanimity can sap your strength and make you say, “Well, I don’t know if it’s going to be worth the effort to make any changes, so I’ll just learn how to accept things as they are.” And all too often that’s portrayed as what the Buddha taught. I saw an interview one time with a teacher who was saying just that: that the practice is all about learning just to go with the flow and not to try to make any changes in life. Just be equanimous about everything. The interviewer asked the teacher, “Isn’t that defeatist?” And the teacher said, “Well, only if you think about it.” Which is pretty sad. Are we supposed to not think? Of course we’re supposed to think. The Buddha thought a lot. He set down guidelines for how to think. He didn’t say not to think. He said to think in terms of appropriate attention, to think in terms of t...

Not all equanimity is skillful. Indifference is not skillful; just giving up is not skillful. You have to work on your mind.

"Not all equanimity is skillful. Indifference is not skillful; just giving up is not skillful, saying, “Well, I’ll just have to accept whatever.” Even if you have to submit physically to danger, you have to work on your mind. And as the Buddha says elsewhere, if there are ways that you can escape the danger, go for them. But you do it in a way that’s skillful. But still, it’s largely a matter of training your mind." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Facing Danger & Hardship"

Stay away from the unskillful kinds of equanimity: the kinds that are lazy or defeatist or — in Ajaan Fuang’s terminology — the small-hearted equanimity that just gets depressed and gives up.

"We’re here to arrive at the ultimate happiness. Equanimity, as part of the path, helps get you there. But it’s not the whole path, and it’s not the essence of where we want to go. Always keep these points in mind so that you can develop the skillful kind of equanimity that helps you. Stay away from the unskillful kinds: the kinds that are lazy or defeatist or — in Ajaan Fuang’s terminology — the small-hearted equanimity that just gets depressed and gives up. Those are not the equanimities that the Buddha was teaching. He was teaching large-hearted equanimity, in Ajaan Fuang’s phrase, that has space for the effort that needs to be put into the practice. And happiness is going to result, both along the way and when you arrive at the goal." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Equanimity as a Skill" (Meditations10)

The equanimity of the Buddha is the equanimity that says, “Things may be going poorly but I’m not going to let that sap my strength. I’m going to figure out what *can* be done here.” You have to strengthen yourself.

"There are two kinds of equanimity. There’s the kind that says, “Okay, I’m just going to be okay with whatever comes up and stay there.” That kind of equanimity can sap your strength and make you say, “Well, I don’t know if it’s going to be worth the effort to make any changes, so I’ll just learn how to accept things as they are.” And all too often that’s portrayed as what the Buddha taught. I saw an interview one time with a teacher who was saying just that: that the practice is all about learning just to go with the flow and not to try to make any changes in life. Just be equanimous about everything. The interviewer asked the teacher, “Isn’t that defeatist?” And the teacher said, “Well, only if you think about it.” Which is pretty sad. Are we supposed to not think? Of course we’re supposed to think. The Buddha thought a lot. He set down guidelines for how to think. He didn’t say not to think. He said to think in terms of appropriate attention, to think in terms of the four no...

Not all equanimity is skillful. Indifference is not skillful; just giving up is not skillful. You have to work on your mind.

"So our immediate reaction to danger should be not to follow our instincts to get angry or fearful, but to think of the larger principle of maintaining the good state of our minds. And we’ve got good advice from the Buddha on how to do that. There’s a passage where Ven. Sariputta talks about recollecting the Buddha, the Dhamma, and the Sangha. And it’s interesting for several reasons: One, he says if you’re being attacked, you should remember the Buddha’s teaching on what to do when you’re attacked. Even if bandits were sawing off your limbs with a two handled saw, you should not have ill will for them. Even for them, you should have goodwill. And so, you should make a resolve, “I’m going to follow the Buddha’s teachings.” And Sariputta says you also try to develop what he called skillful equanimity. Notice he places a condition on it: It has to be skillful. Not all equanimity is skillful. Indifference is not skillful; just giving up is not skillful, saying, “Well, I’ll just have...

Not all equanimity is skillful. Indifference is not skillful; just giving up is not skillful. You have to work on your mind.

"There’s a passage where Ven. Sariputta talks about recollecting the Buddha, the Dhamma, and the Sangha. And it’s interesting for several reasons: One, he says if you’re being attacked, you should remember the Buddha’s teaching on what to do when you’re attacked. Even if bandits were sawing off your limbs with a two handled saw, you should not have ill will for them. Even for them, you should have goodwill. And so, you should make a resolve, “I’m going to follow the Buddha’s teachings.” And Sariputta says you also try to develop what he called skillful equanimity. Notice he places a condition on it: It has to be skillful. Not all equanimity is skillful. Indifference is not skillful; just giving up is not skillful, saying, “Well, I’ll just have to accept whatever.” Even if you have to submit physically to danger, you have to work on your mind. And as the Buddha says elsewhere, if there are ways that you can escape the danger, go for them. But you do it in a way that’s skillful. B...