Thanissaro Bhikkhu on Equanimity

"The more limited, the more narrow our concerns are, the bigger the sufferings in life are going to seem, and the more overwhelming. If we’re going to work on them, we have to make sure they don’t seem so overwhelming. We have to make our mind larger than they are so they don’t consume all our attention. Think about other beings: They have their sufferings as well. They want happiness as well. So in one sense, we’re all in this together, and you have to think about how your sufferings fit in with the rest of the sufferings of the world. To what extent are you actually causing other people to suffer? Also, remember that there are a lot of people out there who are suffering a lot more than you are right now. Even though you don’t feel their sufferings, at least it’s important to remember them to get a sense of perspective on where you are and what your problems are so that you can tackle them with more confidence — realizing as you’re sitting here meditating, it’s not just your iss...

"We often think that equanimity is simply accepting things and having no reaction at all, but that’s not what equanimity means. It means looking at things from a larger perspective and getting a sense of your priorities — i.e., what’s important, what’s not important — and developing equanimity for the unimportant things, where you can’t make a difference, so that you can focus on areas where you can. It also involves reminding yourself that when you do respond to a situation, it’s going to have consequences in the long term, so you want your response to be focused and wise. In order to remind yourself of that fact, the Buddha has you look at the human situation from a larger perspective. One of his passages for dealing with anger against someone is to think, “This person has done something bad to me in the past. But what should I expect?” “This person has done something bad to people I love. What should I expect?” “This person has done something good to people I hate. What should ...

"Anger often presents itself as being justified, that someone has done something outrageous or said something outrageous. It’s beyond the pale. It can’t be. You can’t stand it — and that right there is the crux of the problem: your own lack of endurance, your inability to see the larger picture. Given that people will do things you don’t like, how can you live in this world in a skillful way, not letting your anger to take over?" ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Anger"

"The Buddha often puts endurance together with another quality, which is goodwill [mettā] . No matter what other people do, you have to have goodwill for them. He talks about having goodwill as large as the Earth, as cool and as wide as the River Ganges. No one can make the Earth be without earth; no one can set the River Ganges on fire. Make it like space. People can try to write things in space, but it doesn’t stick. You can take a pen and wave it around in space, and the ink doesn’t hang there in the air because there’s nothing there for it to stick to. You want to have a mind like that. When people say things, it doesn’t reverberate, it doesn’t stick. Most of us have a mind like a big sheet of paper. If anybody has a pen anywhere nearby, it’s like a magnetic sheet of paper. It pulls the ink out of the pen and becomes an indelible stain. So when that happens, you have to remind yourself: Who are you going to blame? You’re the one who made your mind like magnetic paper. Try to m...

"Here at the monastery, there’s a rhythm that’s very different from the rhythm of lay life. And the difference is paradoxical. On the one hand, the day seems very long, especially when you’re new here and are new to the meditation. There’s nothing much to fill up the day. In fact, the length of the day sometimes seems threatening. But as you begin to get better at the meditation, you begin to notice the other side of the difference, which is that the days go very fast because there are not so many sharp ups and downs from day to day to day, and the days are pretty much the same. After a while, a week, a month, several months, a year, seems go very fast. In lay life, people talk about having a good day, as if that were the biggest unit of time they can think about. Whereas here, life goes in larger seasons, larger cycles. And it’s useful for getting perspective on your mind, because the mind has a lot of ups and downs. We can ride the ups and downs like a roller coaster, and in rid...