Thanissaro Bhikkhu on Equanimity

"We’re not here to connect with everybody. That’s an idea that has its roots back in European Romanticism: the idea we’re suffering because we don’t connect with all our fellow humanity. Well, there are some people you don’t want to connect with because they’ll have a bad influence on you. It’s not that you’re passing judgment on them forever, but you use your judgment, you use your circumspection to see which friendships are actually having a good impact on you, and which ones are not." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Circumspection"

"As [the Buddha] says, no one can purify you; you can’t purify anybody else. You don’t go to heaven because of other people’s good actions; you don’t go to hell because of other people’s bad actions. It’s your actions that determine that. So there is that sense in which you’re separate. And of course you’re the one who chooses your friends to begin with. So in that way, the separateness of our selves comes first." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "A Separate Self"

"Someone once asked Ajaan Fuang what kind of food he liked. And his answer was, “The food in front of me.” And that’s the attitude you’ve got to take toward your meditation. What kind of breath do you like? Well, learn to like the breath in front of you. What kind of meditation do you like? Learn to like the meditation you’re doing right now. Don’t worry about what yesterday’s meditation was like, whether it was better than today’s or worse or whatever. It’s gone, it’s past. You want to be on good terms with what you’ve got right here. That’s the essence of the meditation, learning how to relate to what’s right here right now in such a way that you’re causing yourself the least suffering and actually working toward a stable happiness. Even though a good part of the practice is aimed at the future — there is a goal at the end of the path, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise — but a large part of that goal there in the future lies in learning how to relate well to what you’ve got ...

"As [the Buddha] says, no one can purify you; you can’t purify anybody else. You don’t go to heaven because of other people’s good actions; you don’t go to hell because of other people’s bad actions. It’s your actions that determine that. So there is that sense in which you’re separate. And of course you’re the one who chooses your friends to begin with. So in that way, the separateness of our selves comes first." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "A Separate Self"

"If you look deep into the mind, you find that there is a quality of just knowingness — that it doesn’t matter what happens, there’s a knowing. Things can come falling down all around you and there’s still that knowing. Our problem is that we identify with all the things that can fall down — that can be shaken, perturbed. And so in the meditation we’re trying to find our way to that spot of unperturbed knowing. Even though it may not be the deathless, it’s a good place to be: good, strong equanimity; a good, solid foundation inside. And we’re taught our lesson about that property of knowingness by looking at the properties in the body. You’ve got the earth, water, fire, the energy of the breath. These are basic properties that let you know that you’ve got a body here. And they’re always there. Sometimes one may be more predominant than the others, but they’re always there all the time. So when you see that the breath is constant — even when it’s still, there’s an element of still ...