Thanissaro Bhikkhu on Equanimity

"When we come to the meditation, the Buddha says that when there’s householder distress, you should try to cure it with renunciate distress. That’s a step a lot of us would like to skip. Renunciate distress there is realizing that there is a goal that other people have attained, it is possible, but you’re not there yet, and you think about all that needs to be done. Some people find this so discouraging that they aim for equanimity as something halfway between householder and renunciate joy, but they’re actually going back to householder equanimity. They comfort themselves with the idea that “Maybe there’s nothing to attain” or “If I try to have an attainment, I’m creating suffering and stress for myself right now. I’m getting upset over something I can’t see, so I might as well learn how to accept the way things are.” They try to anesthetize themselves to the distress, and end up with a very calm state, but again, it isn’t solidly based. It needs constant shoring up. You see th...

Question: For Westerners, equanimity is often given a bad rap. It’s seen as kind of a sense of futility, a passive attitude, indifference, or even a weakness. Is this true? Can you give us some examples that would show that there is actually a noble, better understanding of this noble faculty? Thanissaro Bhikkhu: Equanimity is basically accepting things that you realize you cannot change. And the reason why we have to accept them is because if we don’t, we waste a lot of energy trying to change things that we can’t. If you do develop equanimity toward those things, though, then you have the energy to change the things that you can. For example, suppose that someone in your family has a serious illness. You have to accept that fact with equanimity, and then from there you try to see what you can do to help. The acceptance is what allows you to think clearly. If you’re upset or disturbed by the illness, sometimes you actually make the condition worse. So, we’re not talking about a gene...

"Equanimity is sometimes taught with a defeatist attitude. A defeatist attitude says, basically, that there’s no lasting happiness to be found in the world, so you might as well give up trying to find it. Just learn to accept things as they are and don’t hope for them to be better than what they are. When you give up on your search for happiness, you can be equanimous and content with what you’ve got. That, as I said, is a defeatist attitude. It’s equanimity tinged with regret, disappointment, and a sense of powerlessness. It’s heavy and narrow, a contentment found by lowering your standards for satisfaction. We bow down to the Buddha, though, because he actually has us raise our standards for satisfaction, to accept nothing less than the ultimate happiness. There’s nothing defeatist in his attitude at all. In fact, he called the noble eightfold path the path to victory: You can find a happiness that’s not subject to aging, illness, and death, that’s totally free of sorrow. You wi...

"There are some ideas about equanimity going around that give it a bad name. One is the idea that if you fight your negative emotions, fight your defilements, it’s going to be stressful — and the Buddha taught us not to cause stress, right? — so we shouldn’t put up a fight. That’s what they say. They tell you to develop equanimity around the fact that you’ve got greed, aversion, and delusion. These emotions come and go, and you learn to be okay with that, and learn to let go of any desire for anything better than this. As Ajaan Lee would say, that’s letting go like a pauper. You don’t have anything and you tell yourself, “Well, I’ll just let go of all that wealth that somebody else has.” You don’t gain anything from that, and you stay poor. You could also call it the equanimity of a loser, except that when you don’t even put up a fight, it’s hard to say that you’ve lost." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "The Equanimity of a Winner" (Meditations11)

"Not all equanimity is skillful. Indifference is not skillful; just giving up is not skillful, saying, “Well, I’ll just have to accept whatever.” Even if you have to submit physically to danger, you have to work on your mind. And as the Buddha says elsewhere, if there are ways that you can escape the danger, go for them. But you do it in a way that’s skillful. But still, it’s largely a matter of training your mind." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Facing Danger & Hardship"

"There are times when you look around in your ordinary equanimity and it’s kind of narrow and confining. You’re accepting things even though you really don’t want to. You’ve got to give the mind a sense of joy, a sense of well-being, if you want your equanimity to be healthy. You can find it through insight, you can find it through concentration. Different people will find it in different ways, but there’s a certain range that everybody will have to go through. Some people emphasize the insight first; other people emphasize the concentration first. But look for ways to develop that sense of well-being in the mind. That creates a different kind of equanimity. It’s not forced on you. It comes from finding something better than what you’ve had all along. That’s why it’s safe." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Acceptance & Equanimity"

"Look at the words of the reflection: “All beings are owners of their actions. Whatever they do, for good or for evil, to that will they fall heir.” It’s a recognition of responsibility, and it’s a recognition of cause and effect. This is one of the reasons why equanimity is said to be the highest of the brahmaviharas, because, to be skillful, it requires a large element of wisdom. It’s a particular kind of acceptance. And it’s a particular kind of indifference. The acceptance here is that if you want happiness, you’ve got to do things to find that happiness. You accept the principle that your actions make the difference between whether your goodwill will actually be brought into reality or whether something’s going to get in the way. The indifference is indifference to ideas that would look for happiness in other ways, aside from your own actions — such as depending on some outside power or some outside being to come and do things for you. You have to be indifferent to those id...

"We often think that equanimity is simply accepting things and having no reaction at all, but that’s not what equanimity means. It means looking at things from a larger perspective and getting a sense of your priorities — i.e., what’s important, what’s not important — and developing equanimity for the unimportant things, where you can’t make a difference, so that you can focus on areas where you can. It also involves reminding yourself that when you do respond to a situation, it’s going to have consequences in the long term, so you want your response to be focused and wise. In order to remind yourself of that fact, the Buddha has you look at the human situation from a larger perspective. One of his passages for dealing with anger against someone is to think, “This person has done something bad to me in the past. But what should I expect?” “This person has done something bad to people I love. What should I expect?” “This person has done something good to people I hate. What should ...

"There’s a story they tell about a monk who once stayed with Ajaan Chah during the rains retreat. Half of the roof of his hut blew off in a rain storm, and as Ajaan Chah was later walking around the monastery to check on the storm damage, he noticed that half of the roof had blown off and that the monk was simply sleeping in that half of the hut that was still roofed. Ajaan Chah asked him, “Why are you doing this? Why aren’t you fixing your hut?” The monk said, ”I’m trying to practice equanimity.” Ajaan Chah’s response was: “That’s not the equanimity that the Buddha taught, that’s the equanimity of a water buffalo,” or we in English would say, it’s the equanimity of a cow. The point here is that the Buddha didn’t teach us just to be passive about things, or just to accept things. The basic concept of the path is the difference between skillful and unskillful, and there are times when simple equanimity is not skillful." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "The Equanimity of a Cow...

"The teachings on equanimity are there to teach you about action — to take a mature attitude toward your actions, seeing where you’ve made a mistake, where things are not going well, and what you can do to change. One of the definitions of maturity is being able to admit a mistake. If you don’t admit your mistakes, you’re never going to learn from them because you can’t even see them. That closes off all possibility of improvement. So that’s something we have to be equanimous about as well: the fact that we’ve made mistakes. We’ve done unskillful actions, but we have the opportunity right now to do something more skillful. We can learn. So equanimity is not just acceptance and it’s not just passivity. It’s directly related to appropriate attention. If there’s something wrong, look at your intentions. If there’s something wrong, look at what you’re doing. Your intentions may be good, but the means may be wrong. Or your intention may be corrupted and, in that case, no matter how goo...

"Then there’s also the reflection on equanimity: All beings are the owners of their actions . This is our reality check, because we realize that the suffering of the world is just too much for us to go out and solve entirely. There are limits on our time and our energy, and we have no control over other people. After all, people are going to be happy, they’re going to suffer, based on their actions . Even in a small group of people, you can’t get everybody to agree on what the path to happiness is going to be. Or even if they do agree, you can’t get everybody to practice the way you think they should practice. The world is going to go its way. We can either make that a source of suffering or we can decide that we have to accept that fact and then focus on what we can accomplish. After all, the Buddha couldn’t teach everybody. There were lots of people who would listen to him and didn’t agree and went off their own way. But he did something really remarkable. Instead...

"Sometimes equanimity is useful; sometimes it’s not. You accept the fact that your actions do shape your experience, and you accept the fact that there’re going to be a lot of unpleasant things in life because you’ve been unskillful in the past, but you don’t just sit there. You try to figure out what you can do now to act as skillfully as possible, speak as skillfully as possible, think as skillfully as possible, listen as skillfully as possible, respond to pain and pleasure as skillfully as possible. So make use of the insight that our lives are shaped by our actions. The question is not so much what we are, the question is what are we doing? Actually, what we are is the result of actions, both past and present, so even that issue gets resolved into: What are we doing? How can we do it well? How can we do it coming from a position of strength? Learn how to accept the fact that there will be pleasures and there will be pains. There will be kind words; there will be ...

"There are two kinds of equanimity. There’s the kind that says, “Okay, I’m just going to be okay with whatever comes up and stay there.” That kind of equanimity can sap your strength and make you say, “Well, I don’t know if it’s going to be worth the effort to make any changes, so I’ll just learn how to accept things as they are.” And all too often that’s portrayed as what the Buddha taught. I saw an interview one time with a teacher who was saying just that: that the practice is all about learning just to go with the flow and not to try to make any changes in life. Just be equanimous about everything. The interviewer asked the teacher, “Isn’t that defeatist?” And the teacher said, “Well, only if you think about it.” Which is pretty sad. Are we supposed to not think? Of course we’re supposed to think. The Buddha thought a lot. He set down guidelines for how to think. He didn’t say not to think. He said to think in terms of appropriate attention, to think in terms of t...

"Equanimity is not simply passive acceptance. It’s an ordering of your priorities, telling you to stop wasting energy on things that can’t be changed, and to focus it instead on areas where goodwill [mettā], compassion, and appreciation can make a difference. So you look at the stories you’re telling yourself and try to inject them with these attitudes, and especially the teaching on kamma. There’s no wrong that goes unpunished, no good that goes unrewarded. That’s simply the way kamma is. Therefore, we don’t have to carry around ledger sheets — which person did this, which person did that — with the fear that if the ledger sheet disappears then that person’s not going to get the retribution he or she deserves. The principle of kamma takes care of that. But remember that it also takes care of you as well." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "The Story-telling Mind" (Meditations1)

"Sometimes we feel that if we push, push, push, then things will go faster, but there are a lot of things in this world that don’t respond well to pushing in that way, especially when the causes and effects are delicate, as they are with the breath and with the mind. In cases like that, you want to bring a more nurturing attitude, to be willing to sit with things as they develop slowly. It’s not the case that we’re just accepting things as they are and leaving them that way. We’re accepting them as they are with the purpose of figuring out the best way to develop them in the right direction. That will depend a lot on them, not just on our own sense of wanting them to move fast. It’s like growing rice or any kind of plant. You want the plant to be a certain height because you know when it gets that tall it’s going to bear fruit or grains. But all you’ve got is this little tiny, tiny plant in the ground. What are you going to do? If you pull on it to stretch it and mak...

"Not all equanimity is skillful. Indifference is not skillful; just giving up is not skillful, saying, “Well, I’ll just have to accept whatever.” Even if you have to submit physically to danger, you have to work on your mind. And as the Buddha says elsewhere, if there are ways that you can escape the danger, go for them. But you do it in a way that’s skillful. But still, it’s largely a matter of training your mind." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Facing Danger & Hardship"

"Equanimity is not simply passive acceptance. It’s an ordering of your priorities, telling you to stop wasting energy on things that can’t be changed, and to focus it instead on areas where goodwill [mettā], compassion, and appreciation can make a difference. So you look at the stories you’re telling yourself and try to inject them with these attitudes, and especially the teaching on kamma. There’s no wrong that goes unpunished, no good that goes unrewarded. That’s simply the way kamma is. Therefore, we don’t have to carry around ledger sheets — which person did this, which person did that — with the fear that if the ledger sheet disappears then that person’s not going to get the retribution he or she deserves. The principle of kamma takes care of that. But remember that it also takes care of you as well." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "The Story-telling Mind" (Meditations1)

"You come across incidents in your life where you can’t gain the happiness you’d like. There’s a karmic block there. So you learn to accept it with equanimity. That doesn’t mean that you give up and become totally passive and indifferent. You look for the areas where your actions can make a difference. Don’t waste your time and energy, butting your head against the wall in areas where you can’t make any change. Focus on the areas where you can. So equanimity is not hopelessness, it’s not passive indifference. It’s there to redirect your energies in the proper direction, to the areas where you can act for your own well-being and for the well-being of others." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "The Sublime Attitudes" (Meditations2)

"You forgive people for being different. And not just different: There are people who really do have ill will; there are people who really are motivated by very unskillful desires. You have to accept that that’s part of the human realm. But you can’t let that aggravate the mind. You realize that’s their business. It’s a sorry thing that that’s the way they are. If you can help them change their ways, you try. But if they’re resistant to your help, you just have to let them go. Work on developing wisdom in your own attitude. Just because someone else’s been unskillful is not an excuse for you to be unskillful, too — and it’s also not an excuse for you to get your mind all worked up. You’ve got to look after the quality of your mind, because the quality of your mind is what determines what you’re going to do. If you let other people’s attitudes infect your attitude, you’re behaving irresponsibly. So think in those terms until you get the mind ready to settle down."...

"Equanimity is not the goal. We’re not here just to be equanimous about things, because there’s a sense of powerlessness in equanimity. You realize that there are things you simply cannot change as long as you’re in this world dealing with other people. They may decide they want to go to war. What are you going to do? You can protest, but what if they decide they’re not going to listen to the protests? What if they mow the protesters down? People do unskillful things all over the world all the time. This is the world we’re born into — and this is one of the relatively good ones. So equanimity cannot be the goal. But the fact that the reflection on equanimity is also the same as the reflection that leads to a motivation to want to practice the path, shows that when the Buddha teaches us equanimity, it’s not just a general indifference. When you have equanimity for all beings, it’s not just saying, “Well, who cares?” It’s more to focus you. There are a lot of things you cannot chan...