Thanissaro Bhikkhu on Equanimity

Question: For Westerners, equanimity is often given a bad rap. It’s seen as kind of a sense of futility, a passive attitude, indifference, or even a weakness. Is this true? Can you give us some examples that would show that there is actually a noble, better understanding of this noble faculty? Thanissaro Bhikkhu: Equanimity is basically accepting things that you realize you cannot change. And the reason why we have to accept them is because if we don’t, we waste a lot of energy trying to change things that we can’t. If you do develop equanimity toward those things, though, then you have the energy to change the things that you can. For example, suppose that someone in your family has a serious illness. You have to accept that fact with equanimity, and then from there you try to see what you can do to help. The acceptance is what allows you to think clearly. If you’re upset or disturbed by the illness, sometimes you actually make the condition worse. So, we’re not talking about a gene...

"Equanimity is sometimes taught with a defeatist attitude. A defeatist attitude says, basically, that there’s no lasting happiness to be found in the world, so you might as well give up trying to find it. Just learn to accept things as they are and don’t hope for them to be better than what they are. When you give up on your search for happiness, you can be equanimous and content with what you’ve got. That, as I said, is a defeatist attitude. It’s equanimity tinged with regret, disappointment, and a sense of powerlessness. It’s heavy and narrow, a contentment found by lowering your standards for satisfaction. We bow down to the Buddha, though, because he actually has us raise our standards for satisfaction, to accept nothing less than the ultimate happiness. There’s nothing defeatist in his attitude at all. In fact, he called the noble eightfold path the path to victory: You can find a happiness that’s not subject to aging, illness, and death, that’s totally free of sorrow. You wi...

"So always keep the mind first. Even though there are things outside that you can’t change, the fact that the mind is always coming first means that it’s not going to get worked up. It has its independence. And it’s by putting the mind first that we find true release." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "The Mind Comes First"

"Sometimes we’re told that in our practice of meditation, and in our approach to practice of the Buddha’s teachings as a whole, we shouldn’t be attached to results. Now, this statement can be taken in a wrong way and a right way. The wrong way would be that we don’t care about the results, that we just do what we want to do and let the chips fall where they may, convinced in the rightness of our intentions. That’s a recipe for disaster, because one of the first things we have to learn is that we can’t totally trust our intentions. After all, we’re here to learn what our intentions are, and the best way for testing them is to see how they bear out in action, what results they give. If something seems like a good intention, you follow it, and then you watch to see what the results are. Many times the results turn out different from what you expected, in which case there was something wrong with the intention. It wasn’t skillful enough. So this statement of not being attached to the ...

"Look at the words of the reflection: “All beings are owners of their actions. Whatever they do, for good or for evil, to that will they fall heir.” It’s a recognition of responsibility, and it’s a recognition of cause and effect. This is one of the reasons why equanimity is said to be the highest of the brahmaviharas, because, to be skillful, it requires a large element of wisdom. It’s a particular kind of acceptance. And it’s a particular kind of indifference. The acceptance here is that if you want happiness, you’ve got to do things to find that happiness. You accept the principle that your actions make the difference between whether your goodwill will actually be brought into reality or whether something’s going to get in the way. The indifference is indifference to ideas that would look for happiness in other ways, aside from your own actions — such as depending on some outside power or some outside being to come and do things for you. You have to be indifferent to those id...

"The teachings on equanimity are there to teach you about action — to take a mature attitude toward your actions, seeing where you’ve made a mistake, where things are not going well, and what you can do to change. One of the definitions of maturity is being able to admit a mistake. If you don’t admit your mistakes, you’re never going to learn from them because you can’t even see them. That closes off all possibility of improvement. So that’s something we have to be equanimous about as well: the fact that we’ve made mistakes. We’ve done unskillful actions, but we have the opportunity right now to do something more skillful. We can learn. So equanimity is not just acceptance and it’s not just passivity. It’s directly related to appropriate attention. If there’s something wrong, look at your intentions. If there’s something wrong, look at what you’re doing. Your intentions may be good, but the means may be wrong. Or your intention may be corrupted and, in that case, no matter how goo...

"The reflection on everyone’s karma is also a reflection to induce equanimity for the things that you can’t change, particularly the things that you’ve already done in the past or the results of things that you’ve done in the past. Not only things that you’ve done, but also things that other people have done. There are people who you want to help but you can’t help them because of their karma. Sometimes you can’t help them because of your karma. So instead of banging your head against the wall, against things you can’t change, you learn to regard them with equanimity, and look around to see, “Well, what CAN I change?” " ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Faith in Karma"

"There are two kinds of equanimity. There’s the kind that says, “Okay, I’m just going to be okay with whatever comes up and stay there.” That kind of equanimity can sap your strength and make you say, “Well, I don’t know if it’s going to be worth the effort to make any changes, so I’ll just learn how to accept things as they are.” And all too often that’s portrayed as what the Buddha taught. I saw an interview one time with a teacher who was saying just that: that the practice is all about learning just to go with the flow and not to try to make any changes in life. Just be equanimous about everything. The interviewer asked the teacher, “Isn’t that defeatist?” And the teacher said, “Well, only if you think about it.” Which is pretty sad. Are we supposed to not think? Of course we’re supposed to think. The Buddha thought a lot. He set down guidelines for how to think. He didn’t say not to think. He said to think in terms of appropriate attention, to think in terms of t...

"When the Buddha teaches us equanimity, it’s not just a general indifference. When you have equanimity for all beings, it’s not just saying, “Well, who cares?” It’s more to focus you. There are a lot of things you cannot change in the world, but there are some things that are within your power, and the path is something that’s within your power. It’s something you can do. That, the Buddha says, is a type of action. It’s the type of action that leads to the end of action, but it’s a choice you can make." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Equanimity & More"

"You’ve got to make your happiness depend on your choices. Which means that when it comes to the choices of other people, you have to be equanimous. You have to keep your head so that you can make your choices well. Because that’s the area where you do have some responsibility and do have some power to make a change." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Keeping Your Head"

"You have to learn how to develop some equanimity around areas of the world where you look at them and say, “That’s really sad that that’s the way things are.” But you have to look at how much effort you would have to put in to change those things and ask yourself, “What would actually happen if I did make that effort? What would be the unintended consequences?” Some things in the world you can change without any bad side effects, but there are a lot of things in the world that you have to let go. You have to allow them to be. Because otherwise there’s no way you’re going to be able to train your mind. And your mind is the only thing where you really can take charge and you really can be responsible." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Perfecting the Mind in an Imperfect World"

"The world outside is really hard to change. A lot of decisions are being made out there by people over whom we have no control whatsoever. You look at them and you begin to think, “Is the human race ever going to make intelligent decisions?” There are so many choices available, and yet people are making so many wrong decisions, and there are so many people whom you cannot influence. But you can have an influence starting in here, so that the way you create the world of your experience doesn’t have to cause suffering. It may seem like a small thing when compared to the world outside, but it’s what you can do. And do it so that you have a good influence on other people." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Contemplating the World You Create"

Question: There are those who I like, those who I don’t like. I have my preferences. Equanimity to me seems like a utopia. Please comment. Thanissaro Bhikkhu: Equanimity doesn’t mean not having likes or dislikes. It simply means not letting your likes and dislikes take over the mind. It basically comes down to the fact that certain things in life you can change and certain things you cannot. You need to have equanimity about the things you cannot change so that you have the strength and energy to work on the things that you can change and improve. When they say that the Great Way is not difficult for those with no preferences, what they mean is that you have to be willing to do whatever the Great Way requires. If it requires observing the precepts, then you observe the precepts. If it requires learning how to concentrate the mind, then you concentrate the mind. You prefer following the path to not following the path, but you don’t let other preferences get in the way of actually fol...

"You come across incidents in your life where you can’t gain the happiness you’d like. There’s a karmic block there. So you learn to accept it with equanimity. That doesn’t mean that you give up and become totally passive and indifferent. You look for the areas where your actions can make a difference. Don’t waste your time and energy, butting your head against the wall in areas where you can’t make any change. Focus on the areas where you can. So equanimity is not hopelessness, it’s not passive indifference. It’s there to redirect your energies in the proper direction, to the areas where you can act for your own well-being and for the well-being of others." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "The Sublime Attitudes" (Meditations2)

"You forgive people for being different. And not just different: There are people who really do have ill will; there are people who really are motivated by very unskillful desires. You have to accept that that’s part of the human realm. But you can’t let that aggravate the mind. You realize that’s their business. It’s a sorry thing that that’s the way they are. If you can help them change their ways, you try. But if they’re resistant to your help, you just have to let them go. Work on developing wisdom in your own attitude. Just because someone else’s been unskillful is not an excuse for you to be unskillful, too — and it’s also not an excuse for you to get your mind all worked up. You’ve got to look after the quality of your mind, because the quality of your mind is what determines what you’re going to do. If you let other people’s attitudes infect your attitude, you’re behaving irresponsibly. So think in those terms until you get the mind ready to settle down."...

"Equanimity is not the goal. We’re not here just to be equanimous about things, because there’s a sense of powerlessness in equanimity. You realize that there are things you simply cannot change as long as you’re in this world dealing with other people. They may decide they want to go to war. What are you going to do? You can protest, but what if they decide they’re not going to listen to the protests? What if they mow the protesters down? People do unskillful things all over the world all the time. This is the world we’re born into — and this is one of the relatively good ones. So equanimity cannot be the goal. But the fact that the reflection on equanimity is also the same as the reflection that leads to a motivation to want to practice the path, shows that when the Buddha teaches us equanimity, it’s not just a general indifference. When you have equanimity for all beings, it’s not just saying, “Well, who cares?” It’s more to focus you. There are a lot of things you cannot chan...

"There are two kinds of equanimity. There’s the kind that says, “Okay, I’m just going to be okay with whatever comes up and stay there.” That kind of equanimity can sap your strength and make you say, “Well, I don’t know if it’s going to be worth the effort to make any changes, so I’ll just learn how to accept things as they are.” And all too often that’s portrayed as what the Buddha taught. I saw an interview one time with a teacher who was saying just that: that the practice is all about learning just to go with the flow and not to try to make any changes in life. Just be equanimous about everything. The interviewer asked the teacher, “Isn’t that defeatist?” And the teacher said, “Well, only if you think about it.” Which is pretty sad. Are we supposed to not think? Of course we’re supposed to think. The Buddha thought a lot. He set down guidelines for how to think. He didn’t say not to think. He said to think in terms of appropriate attention, to think in terms of the four no...

"So, the teaching on equanimity doesn’t mean you just accept everything as it is. It means that you accept the fact that there are some areas right now where you can’t make any difference. You have to learn to accept them with equanimity. Then turn your attention to the areas that can be affected: your present intentions. Those are always open to your manipulation. Those can always be under your control in the present moment, if you learn to focus specifically on them and not let yourself get tied down by things that you can’t change." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "The Rhythm of Kamma"

"The reflection on everyone’s karma is also a reflection to induce equanimity for the things that you can’t change, particularly the things that you’ve already done in the past or the results of things that you’ve done in the past. Not only things that you’ve done, but also things that other people have done. There are people who you want to help but you can’t help them because of their karma. Sometimes you can’t help them because of your karma. So instead of banging your head against the wall, against things you can’t change, you learn to regard them with equanimity, and look around to see, “Well, what CAN I change?” " ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Faith in Karma"

"The Buddha never told us just to sit there and accept things. You accept the way things function in terms of your actions and then you train the mind to use that principle of cause and effect to create a path. The equanimity is part of that path, but it’s not the whole path — and it’s not the goal. Recently I heard of a monk trained in the forest tradition saying that equanimity was the goal and we’re here to arrive at right view, accepting the fact that everything is inconstant, arises and passes away, and just be okay with that — which is appalling. The Buddha never taught that, nor did the great ajaans. His images, their images, for people on the path are never images of people who just sit back and accept. They’re people who are searching, people who are engaged in a battle, people who are trying to develop skills. Now, equanimity has a role in developing a skill. It has a role in battles. It has a role in searches. In other words, you look and look and look and when you don’...