Thanissaro Bhikkhu on Equanimity

"The fourth brahma-vihāra is equanimity. Equanimity is expressed in a different manner from the other three. The first three are expressed with the phrase, “May all beings be happy” and “May they do this” and “May they do that.” In other words, it’s a wish. Equanimity is expressed by a statement of fact. “All living beings are the owners of their actions, heir to their actions, and so forth.” This is not a wish; it’s a statement of fact. There’s no “may” there at all. Equanimity is the appropriate emotion to feel when you see that there are beings who are doing things that will cause suffering and that no matter what you do, they will not stop. Or they are suffering from something in their past actions, and no matter how hard you try to help them you cannot stop that suffering. This is when the Buddha has you reflect on the fact of kamma: All beings are owners of their actions, and there are some cases where their actions prevent you from helping them or your own lack of skill p...

"When other people do good, you can see it as a sign that there are people in this world who do good. You get some energy from that. Otherwise, if all you can see are other people’s drawbacks, your own goodness gets stale and shriveled. You have to see their good points as well. When you can notice them, that’s energy for you. Don’t be jealous of them. They’ve got some good — sometimes they’ve got some good better than you have. Well, here’s your chance to see a good example. When other people act in ways that are really bad, you can remind yourself, “Okay, this is what bad actions look like from outside. Maybe I’ve got some actions just like that.” So regardless of what other people do, you’ve got to learn how to think in ways that help liberate your mind from being a slave to their actions or making your moods depend on their actions. You have to learn how to develop the right mood to practice, to energize yourself to practice, so you need for your motivation to come...

"When the Buddha lists the factors for awakening, equanimity comes at the end of the list, which gives the impression that it’s the highest of the list. And in one way it is, but in many ways it’s not. It’s listed as one of the factors that are useful only on some occasions. When the mind is overly excited, overly energetic, overly worked up about things, equanimity is one of the calming factors. It goes together with calm and concentration. When your energy is too low, though, that’s not the time to be developing equanimity. You have to work on the factors that are more energizing: analysis of qualities, rapture, and persistence. Otherwise, your practice will stagnate. So you have to use your equanimity together with your discernment to figure out what’s just right." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Equanimity"

"There are some situations where you realize you can’t make a difference, or you could make a difference but it might not be worth it. Some people listening to the brahmaviharas say that they sound like the serenity prayer: wanting the ability to accept what you can’t change, the courage to change what you can change, and the discernment or wisdom to know the difference. But life is a lot more complicated than that. There are a lot of things that you could change but wouldn’t be worth it. And that requires real discernment. After all, even though we try to have equanimity and goodwill for everyone, our resources are limited. The attitudes may be unlimited, but our resources are not: In terms of your time, your energy, your monetary resources, there are limitations. So you have to figure out, given the limitations, what’s the best use of what you’ve got. There may be some areas where you have to choose which battle you’re going to fight. You can’t fight two at once, o...

"When other people do good, you can see it as a sign that there are people in this world who do good. You get some energy from that. Otherwise, if all you can see are other people’s drawbacks, your own goodness gets stale and shriveled. You have to see their good points as well. When you can notice them, that’s energy for you. Don’t be jealous of them. They’ve got some good — sometimes they’ve got some good better than you have. Well, here’s your chance to see a good example. When other people act in ways that are really bad, you can remind yourself, “Okay, this is what bad actions look like from outside. Maybe I’ve got some actions just like that.” So regardless of what other people do, you’ve got to learn how to think in ways that help liberate your mind from being a slave to their actions or making your moods depend on their actions. You have to learn how to develop the right mood to practice, to energize yourself to practice, so you need for your motivation to come from within...

"And equanimity, too, is something you have to will — the ability to stay unperturbed with the things you like and the things you don’t like; not getting excited when things go well, not getting depressed when they don’t. In other words, you train yourself to have a certain amount of independence. Discernment is needed to perfect and understand this quality, and the equanimity helps foster the discernment, allowing you to see things more clearly, as well. The two qualities go hand-in-hand. There are times in the meditation where you do simply have to sit and watch. Some of your defilements really will go away just when you watch them — but not all of them. One of the points of developing equanimity is so you begin to see where the difference lies. So the Buddha is not recommending a blanket passivity here. He’s telling you to develop equanimity when it’s appropriate. You develop equanimity when you need to see things that you don’t yet understand. When you understand, sometimes eq...

"You learn how not to get fazed by criticism, especially from the people you respect. This doesn’t mean that you brush it off, simply that you don’t react emotionally. That allows you to look at the criticism to see exactly where it’s right: “How can I benefit from the criticism?” Then you can develop the attitude that Ajaan Lee talks about, where you can take anything that the world throws at you and see that it’s got its good side as well as its bad. No matter how good it may seem in terms of the world, it has its bad side. Wealth, fame, praise: Those things you’ve got to watch out for. At the same time, the things that the world says are bad have their good side as well. Material loss, loss of status, criticism: You can learn from loss, you can learn from criticism, but you learn best when you’re not reacting, when you can develop this sense of just knowing that whatever’s there is simply there. You’re not getting carried away by all the embroidery that you tend to add to these...

"There are some situations where you realize you can’t make a difference, or you could make a difference but it might not be worth it. Some people listening to the brahmaviharas say that they sound like the serenity prayer: wanting the ability to accept what you can’t change, the courage to change what you can change, and the discernment or wisdom to know the difference. But life is a lot more complicated than that. There are a lot of things that you could change but wouldn’t be worth it. And that requires real discernment. After all, even though we try to have equanimity and goodwill for everyone, our resources are limited. The attitudes may be unlimited, but our resources are not: In terms of your time, your energy, your monetary resources, there are limitations. So you have to figure out, given the limitations, what’s the best use of what you’ve got. There may be some areas where you have to choose which battle you’re going to fight. You can’t fight two at once, or maybe you c...

“Equanimity is never recommended as a good thing on its own. This is perhaps the most important point of tonight’s talk, so I’ll repeat it: Equanimity is never recommended as a good thing on its own. It’s always recommended in conjunction with right effort and other skillful qualities. In terms of equanimity on the path, this fits in with the Buddha’s observation — which we discussed under the topic of persistence — that the causes of suffering fall into two types: those that go away simply when you look at them with equanimity, and those that go away only when you exert any of the three types of fabrication against them. For instance, there are cases where lust goes away when you simply watch it steadily. It’s as if it’s embarrassed to show its face. There are other times, though, when you stare at your lust and it stares right back, not the least bit embarrassed. That’s when you need to make a concerted effort to get rid of it. You have to use your discernment skillfully to determin...