Thanissaro Bhikkhu on Equanimity

"It’s interesting that Ajaan Lee focuses on what other people say as one of the tests for a mind that’s really at peace. The Buddha makes a similar point in one of the Dhammapada verses. “If, when other people say harsh things to you and you don’t reverberate — like a cracked gong — that’s a sign that you’ve attained true peace of mind.” This might seem strange. Why does the test lie in how you react to what other people say? The mind is very sensitive to this issue. We learn very early in our lives that our happiness is going to depend on how other people treat us. As children, we’re surrounded by people a lot more powerful than we are, so there’s always a sense of fear built into our relationships to the people around us. We become sensitive to other people’s moods, sensitive to what they might do, what they might say. As a result, our center of gravity is placed outside because we’re afraid of them, and we try to put up a wall outside ourselves to protect ourselves from them....

"You have to be confident that even if the mind does get knocked off balance you can bring it back. Otherwise the practice would be full of fear all the time — afraid of tipping off too far to the left, too far to the right, toppling upside down. There’s only one way of learning what the balance point is, and that’s through experimenting. And you can experiment only when you’re not afraid. So you have to develop the confidence that even when you do go far off the path to one side or the other, you can pull yourself back. There’s always that new opportunity in the mind to give yourself a fresh start. In this way you can experiment and gain a sense of where the balance is because you know that no mistakes are fatal. You come back and you put yourself on the path again. You fall off… well, you put yourself back on the path again. Ajaan Mun once said at another point, “It’s normal for people to go off on the side.” You get stuck on the right side of the path looking at the flowers, s...

"Equanimity rests on the confidence that as long as you put in positive energy with positive intentions, positive results will have to come out at some point. So it’s important that that’s what you’re careful about: the intentions you’re putting into the whole process right now, making sure that they’re skillful, not being pushed around by greed, or anger, delusion, impatience, or fear. Try to take nourishment from your confidence in the principle of karma, in the principle of action: that skillful actions will lead to good results. Maybe you can’t get the results you want right now, but you can put in good energy right now. Try to develop as much skillfulness in your attitude as you can. That’s what’s important. That’s what we’re trying to develop as we meditate. Remember, the word for meditation in Pali is development. We’re trying to develop skillful attitudes, skillful intentions. Focus your energy there." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "The Rhythm of Kamma"

"The thought of someone you’ve lost or some thing that you’ve lost? Reflect on impermanence and inconstancy: These things are all made to be lost. Think of Ajaan Chah’s analogy: to think of the cup as already broken. This doesn’t mean that you treat it casually. You actually take very good care of it. But part of the mind has to be prepared that someday it’s going to break. The Buddha compares people to pots. As he says, all pots get broken eventually. Whether it takes a long or a short time, they’re all heading to be broken. In the same way, people are all headed to being broken. The world is broken. It’s never going to be perfect. If you can accept that, then you can live with it, and do what you can to make it a little bit better. But particularly, do what you can to make yourself better, make yourself more reliable, so that the changes of the world don’t lead to changes inside, at least not to the deterioration of anything good inside. When you can maintain this kind of soli...

"So our immediate reaction to danger should be not to follow our instincts to get angry or fearful, but to think of the larger principle of maintaining the good state of our minds. And we’ve got good advice from the Buddha on how to do that. There’s a passage where Ven. Sariputta talks about recollecting the Buddha, the Dhamma, and the Sangha. And it’s interesting for several reasons: One, he says if you’re being attacked, you should remember the Buddha’s teaching on what to do when you’re attacked. Even if bandits were sawing off your limbs with a two handled saw, you should not have ill will for them. Even for them, you should have goodwill. And so, you should make a resolve, “I’m going to follow the Buddha’s teachings.” And Sariputta says you also try to develop what he called skillful equanimity. Notice he places a condition on it: It has to be skillful. Not all equanimity is skillful. Indifference is not skillful; just giving up is not skillful, saying, “Well, I’ll just have...

"There’s a passage where Ven. Sariputta talks about recollecting the Buddha, the Dhamma, and the Sangha. And it’s interesting for several reasons: One, he says if you’re being attacked, you should remember the Buddha’s teaching on what to do when you’re attacked. Even if bandits were sawing off your limbs with a two handled saw, you should not have ill will for them. Even for them, you should have goodwill. And so, you should make a resolve, “I’m going to follow the Buddha’s teachings.” And Sariputta says you also try to develop what he called skillful equanimity. Notice he places a condition on it: It has to be skillful. Not all equanimity is skillful. Indifference is not skillful; just giving up is not skillful, saying, “Well, I’ll just have to accept whatever.” Even if you have to submit physically to danger, you have to work on your mind. And as the Buddha says elsewhere, if there are ways that you can escape the danger, go for them. But you do it in a way that’s skillful. B...

"The world would be a nice place if we could provide for each other’s happiness — and we can a little bit — but for the really deep down parts, we each have to be responsible for ourselves. If you constantly worry about this person and that person, no matter how close you are to them, there’s going to be a part of you that gets neglected that you really are responsible for." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Your True Responsibility"