Thanissaro Bhikkhu on Equanimity

"There’s the equanimity that’s part of the four brahmavihāras. This is the kind of equanimity that functions well together with goodwill [mettā] and compassion. You might call it the equanimity of a good doctor. Every good doctor has goodwill and compassion for the patient and wants the patient to be cured, but may find that there are some symptoms he cannot cure. But he doesn’t give up totally on the patient. He develops equanimity toward the symptoms he can’t cure so that he can focus on those he can — or at least on ways in which he can alleviate the patient’s pain and suffering. Instead of trying to force things in areas where he cannot make a difference, he channels his goodwill and compassion for the patient in other ways that are more fruitful and productive. In this way, he doesn’t waste his time and energy on areas where he cannot give help so that he will have the time and energy to focus on areas where he can be of help." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Good Heart, Goo...

"In another sutta — Majjhima 137 — the Buddha talks about different ways of relating to pain, pleasure, and equanimity. There’s the pain, pleasure, and equanimity of a householder on the one side, and the pain, pleasure, and equanimity of a renunciate on the other. The pain of a householder is not getting what you want in terms of sights, sounds, smells, tastes, tactile sensations, and mental events. That’s householder pain. The pleasure of a householder is getting what you want in terms of the six senses. The equanimity of a householder is being determined that your mind will not be affected by any of the input of the six senses. Now, for most of us when we encounter householder pain, we try to find householder pleasures. But the Buddha said that a more skillful way of dealing with householder pain when you meet with it, is to go for renunciate pain, which is what I mentioned before: the desire to reach the goal, which at the moment is painful because you’re not there yet. The sa...

"Sometimes equanimity is useful; sometimes it’s not. You accept the fact that your actions do shape your experience, and you accept the fact that there’re going to be a lot of unpleasant things in life because you’ve been unskillful in the past, but you don’t just sit there. You try to figure out what you can do now to act as skillfully as possible, speak as skillfully as possible, think as skillfully as possible, listen as skillfully as possible, respond to pain and pleasure as skillfully as possible. So make use of the insight that our lives are shaped by our actions. The question is not so much what we are, the question is what are we doing? Actually, what we are is the result of actions, both past and present, so even that issue gets resolved into: What are we doing? How can we do it well? How can we do it coming from a position of strength? Learn how to accept the fact that there will be pleasures and there will be pains. There will be kind words; there will be ...

"Just tell yourself, “I’m here to learn.” And don’t compare your problems with other people’s problems, because you’re not here to solve their problems. You’re here to solve yours. Those are the primary ones you’re responsible for. Accept the fact that you’ve done things in the past that are leading to unpleasant things right now — pains in the body, difficult situations in life — and try to find the resources right now so you can be with those things unshaken and try to figure them out." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "A Mind Like Earth"

"The Buddha also talks about the mind being expansive like the earth when you’re meeting with difficult situations in life. People say horrible things to you. They lie about you or say mean things deliberately to hurt your feelings. They lie about people you love. They hurt people you’re concerned about. They attack you physically. Or, unrelated to what anyone else does, you simply experience really severe pain. The Buddha says, “Make your mind large like earth.” There’s no way for anyone to do anything to the earth to prevent the earth from being itself. They can dig into it, spit on it, urinate anywhere or even demand the earth be without earth, but that doesn’t change the nature of the earth, because earth is so large and expansive. In the same way, you want your goodwill [mettā] to be large and expansive like the earth." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "A Mind Like Earth (2011)"

"A lot of people like the brahma-vihāras. It feels good to be sitting here thinking, “May all beings be happy” or to think of anyone who’s suffering and send compassion: “May that person be free from suffering.” You see people who are happy or doing things that are good, you’re happy for them. Those are pleasant things to think about, and you feel good about yourself thinking them. But you have to realize the brahma-vihāras are not entirely pleasant, especially the first three, because after all they’re involved in wishes. May all beings be happy. May all those who are suffering be free from their suffering. May all those who are happy or doing good things, may they continue to be happy. May, may, may. But you look at the world. Not everybody is happy. A lot of people are suffering or doing things that are going to cause suffering both for other people now and for themselves on into the future. And there are some people who are happy and yet are abusing their happine...

"Sometimes equanimity is useful; sometimes it’s not. You accept the fact that your actions do shape your experience, and you accept the fact that there’re going to be a lot of unpleasant things in life because you’ve been unskillful in the past, but you don’t just sit there. You try to figure out what you can do now to act as skillfully as possible, speak as skillfully as possible, think as skillfully as possible, listen as skillfully as possible, respond to pain and pleasure as skillfully as possible. So make use of the insight that our lives are shaped by our actions. The question is not so much what we are, the question is what are we doing? Actually, what we are is the result of actions, both past and present, so even that issue gets resolved into: What are we doing? How can we do it well? How can we do it coming from a position of strength? Learn how to accept the fact that there will be pleasures and there will be pains. There will be kind words; there will be unkind words...

"Just tell yourself, “I’m here to learn.” And don’t compare your problems with other people’s problems, because you’re not here to solve their problems. You’re here to solve yours. Those are the primary ones you’re responsible for. Accept the fact that you’ve done things in the past that are leading to unpleasant things right now — pains in the body, difficult situations in life — and try to find the resources right now so you can be with those things unshaken and try to figure them out." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "A Mind Like Earth"

"The Buddha also talks about the mind being expansive like the earth when you’re meeting with difficult situations in life. People say horrible things to you. They lie about you or say mean things deliberately to hurt your feelings. They lie about people you love. They hurt people you’re concerned about. They attack you physically. Or, unrelated to what anyone else does, you simply experience really severe pain. The Buddha says, “Make your mind large like earth.” There’s no way for anyone to do anything to the earth to prevent the earth from being itself. They can dig into it, spit on it, urinate anywhere or even demand the earth be without earth, but that doesn’t change the nature of the earth, because earth is so large and expansive. In the same way, you want your goodwill [mettā] to be large and expansive like the earth." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "A Mind Like Earth (2011)"