Thanissaro Bhikkhu on Equanimity

"The same with equanimity in the brahmaviharas: You start with goodwill [mettā] and compassion and empathetic joy. You don’t go straight to equanimity, because feelings of goodwill are nourishing. Feelings of compassion are nourishing. Feelings of empathetic joy: When you realize that you don’t need to feed on resentment anymore, you can actually feed off the happiness of other people. All of these attitudes are uplifting for the mind. But they have to be backed up by equanimity, and the equanimity needs them, too. Otherwise it gets dry. The reason they need to be backed up by equanimity is because often when you see people who are suffering, or other times when you are suffering and you can’t do anything about it, you can’t let yourself get worked up. Or there are cases where you see that people are happy, but you realize it’s not going to last. You realize there are cases where you have pleasures and happiness that are not going to last, and you have to meet that fact with equ...

"Some people object to the idea of developing equanimity in daily life because it sounds like you’ll end up with no feeling or affection for anybody, but that’s not the case. You have to realize that as long as you feel the need to feed on other people, there’s going to be emotional upset. The mind is going to be like a roller coaster, and if your mind is like a roller coaster, you’re not in a good solid position to help them. You would actually be more helpful to the people you love if you could develop equanimity. You could view situations more objectively and come from a more emotionally secure and steady place. That way, you’d be better equipped to provide genuine help — as with the equanimity of a doctor. So, you can still have affection for others, and you can still be helpful to them even though you develop equanimity." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Good Heart, Good Mind: The Practice of the Ten Perfections"

Question: What is the difference between upekkhā, equanimity, and adukkham-asukhaṁ, a neutral feeling? Thanissaro Bhikkhu: The difference is that upekkhā has to do with the emotions. A neutral feeling is simply the feeling tone of a sensation, physical or mental. Equanimity has more to do with mental and emotional stability. ~ "Good Heart, Good Mind: The Practice of the Ten Perfections"

"The Buddha also talks about the mind being expansive like the earth when you’re meeting with difficult situations in life. People say horrible things to you. They lie about you or say mean things deliberately to hurt your feelings. They lie about people you love. They hurt people you’re concerned about. They attack you physically. Or, unrelated to what anyone else does, you simply experience really severe pain. The Buddha says, “Make your mind large like earth.” There’s no way for anyone to do anything to the earth to prevent the earth from being itself. They can dig into it, spit on it, urinate anywhere or even demand the earth be without earth, but that doesn’t change the nature of the earth, because earth is so large and expansive. In the same way, you want your goodwill [mettā] to be large and expansive like the earth." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "A Mind Like Earth (2011)"

"Some people object to the idea of developing equanimity in daily life because it sounds like you’ll end up with no feeling or affection for anybody, but that’s not the case. You have to realize that as long as you feel the need to feed on other people, there’s going to be emotional upset. The mind is going to be like a roller coaster, and if your mind is like a roller coaster, you’re not in a good solid position to help them. You would actually be more helpful to the people you love if you could develop equanimity. You could view situations more objectively and come from a more emotionally secure and steady place. That way, you’d be better equipped to provide genuine help — as with the equanimity of a doctor. So, you can still have affection for others, and you can still be helpful to them even though you develop equanimity." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Good Heart, Good Mind: The Practice of the Ten Perfections"

"The Buddha also talks about the mind being expansive like the earth when you’re meeting with difficult situations in life. People say horrible things to you. They lie about you or say mean things deliberately to hurt your feelings. They lie about people you love. They hurt people you’re concerned about. They attack you physically. Or, unrelated to what anyone else does, you simply experience really severe pain. The Buddha says, “Make your mind large like earth.” There’s no way for anyone to do anything to the earth to prevent the earth from being itself. They can dig into it, spit on it, urinate anywhere or even demand the earth be without earth, but that doesn’t change the nature of the earth, because earth is so large and expansive. In the same way, you want your goodwill [mettā] to be large and expansive like the earth." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "A Mind Like Earth (2011)"