You can still have affection for others, and you can still be helpful to them even though you develop equanimity.
"Some people object to the idea of developing equanimity in daily life
because it sounds like you’ll end up with no feeling or affection for
anybody, but that’s not the case. You have to realize that as long as
you feel the need to feed on other people, there’s going to be emotional
upset. The mind is going to be like a roller coaster, and if your mind
is like a roller coaster, you’re not in a good solid position to help
them. You would actually be more helpful to the people you love if you
could develop equanimity. You could view situations more objectively and
come from a more emotionally secure and steady place. That way, you’d
be better equipped to provide genuine help — as with the equanimity of a
doctor. So, you can still have affection for others, and you can still
be helpful to them even though you develop equanimity."
~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Good Heart, Good Mind: The Practice of the Ten Perfections"
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