Thanissaro Bhikkhu on Equanimity

"Human history is filled with people doing disagreeable things. So drop the perception that you or your loved ones are being especially victimized. Mistreatment is a common thing, and anger is not going to help you deal with it effectively. You’ve got to clear your head if you want your response to injustice to have a good effect. So try to develop some equanimity around the fact that injustice is universal, and then see what you can do most effectively in response to this particular instance of it." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "With Each & Every Breath: A Guide to Meditation"

"The Buddha says that there are basically two kinds of speech, pleasant speech and unpleasant speech. He divides them into different ways of being pleasant and unpleasant. There’s well-meaning and ill-meaning speech, harsh and gentle, timely and untimely, true and false. These categories of speech can be found all over the world. So when you’re the person to whom untimely, unkind, untrue, ill-meaning speech is directed, there’s nothing really strange about that. This is part of the human condition." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Stop Shooting Yourself"

"Equanimity is the most refined of all the brahma-vihāras. It’s not a wish; it’s a statement of fact. All beings are the owners of their actions, heir to their actions. Whatever they do, for good or for evil, to that will they fall heir. Period. It’s a chastening thought, but one that you can hold on to and not suffer nearly so much. Ajaan Fuang commented that mettā needs upekkhā or equanimity if it’s not going to turn into a source of suffering. This is why the brahma-vihāras come in a set. Mettā keeps upekkhā from becoming cold and heartless. You go through the first three before you get to the fourth one. The equanimity is where you can go when you look at the world and realize, “They’re hunting people down and they’re making it legal. People in power are ripping off the rest of the society, and it’s legal.” And you want to wonder, what’s wrong with this human race? So you have to step back a little bit further and say, “Well, it’s karma.” And where are you goin...

"Remember that sounds come, sounds go. You want to make sure that your mind stays the same. This is the normal way of the human race. If you don’t like unkind speech, hurtful speech, untrue speech, find some other place to be born. But for the time being, you’re here right now. So just take this as something normal. When you see it outside as normal, your mind can stay normal as well. That’s how your goodness doesn’t get shattered, doesn’t get wounded by these things. You can still make up your mind, “I’m going to do good in this world, regardless of what other people say.” As long as you know for sure that it’s good, stick with it. Don’t let other people’s opinions get in the way. After all, the goodness you do will be yours. The words they say are theirs, so leave them as theirs, and things are a lot more peaceful in the world." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Hurtful Words"

"The important thing is that you not get overwhelmed by the fact that things are not going well — because look at human life as a whole. Things don’t go well in human life. The body ages, gets sick, and dies. Nobody wants that, but it happens. We have to develop the kind of habit that’s not fazed by aging, not fazed by illness, not even fazed by death. You try to develop the warrior spirit that’s not overwhelmed by anything. When the battle’s not going well, the people who run away are sure to lose. It’s not that great soldiers never have setbacks. They have setbacks, but they learn how not to get overwhelmed by them. They take them as a challenge. Aging is a setback. Illness is a setback. Death is the ultimate one, but you don’t have to be overwhelmed by it. This is the good news offered by the Buddha: that you can train the mind so that none of these things will faze you. None of them will overwhelm you. So you keep working away and away and away at this habit of b...

"Human history is filled with people doing disagreeable things. So drop the perception that you or your loved ones are being especially victimized. Mistreatment is a common thing, and anger is not going to help you deal with it effectively. You’ve got to clear your head if you want your response to injustice to have a good effect. So try to develop some equanimity around the fact that injustice is universal, and then see what you can do most effectively in response to this particular instance of it." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "With Each & Every Breath: A Guide to Meditation"

"The world outside is really hard to change. A lot of decisions are being made out there by people over whom we have no control whatsoever. You look at them and you begin to think, “Is the human race ever going to make intelligent decisions?” There are so many choices available, and yet people are making so many wrong decisions, and there are so many people whom you cannot influence. But you can have an influence starting in here, so that the way you create the world of your experience doesn’t have to cause suffering. It may seem like a small thing when compared to the world outside, but it’s what you can do. And do it so that you have a good influence on other people." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Contemplating the World You Create"

"You forgive people for being different. And not just different: There are people who really do have ill will; there are people who really are motivated by very unskillful desires. You have to accept that that’s part of the human realm. But you can’t let that aggravate the mind. You realize that’s their business. It’s a sorry thing that that’s the way they are. If you can help them change their ways, you try. But if they’re resistant to your help, you just have to let them go. Work on developing wisdom in your own attitude. Just because someone else’s been unskillful is not an excuse for you to be unskillful, too — and it’s also not an excuse for you to get your mind all worked up. You’ve got to look after the quality of your mind, because the quality of your mind is what determines what you’re going to do. If you let other people’s attitudes infect your attitude, you’re behaving irresponsibly. So think in those terms until you get the mind ready to settle down."...

"Remember that sounds come, sounds go. You want to make sure that your mind stays the same. This is the normal way of the human race. If you don’t like unkind speech, hurtful speech, untrue speech, find some other place to be born. But for the time being, you’re here right now. So just take this as something normal. When you see it outside as normal, your mind can stay normal as well. That’s how your goodness doesn’t get shattered, doesn’t get wounded by these things. You can still make up your mind, “I’m going to do good in this world, regardless of what other people say.” As long as you know for sure that it’s good, stick with it. Don’t let other people’s opinions get in the way. After all, the goodness you do will be yours. The words they say are theirs, so leave them as theirs, and things are a lot more peaceful in the world." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Hurtful Words"

"Human history is filled with people doing disagreeable things. So drop the perception that you or your loved ones are being especially victimized. Mistreatment is a common thing, and anger is not going to help you deal with it effectively. You’ve got to clear your head if you want your response to injustice to have a good effect. So try to develop some equanimity around the fact that injustice is universal, and then see what you can do most effectively in response to this particular instance of it." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "With Each & Every Breath: A Guide to Meditation"

"You forgive people for being different. And not just different: There are people who really do have ill will; there are people who really are motivated by very unskillful desires. You have to accept that that’s part of the human realm. But you can’t let that aggravate the mind. You realize that’s their business. It’s a sorry thing that that’s the way they are. If you can help them change their ways, you try. But if they’re resistant to your help, you just have to let them go. Work on developing wisdom in your own attitude. Just because someone else’s been unskillful is not an excuse for you to be unskillful, too — and it’s also not an excuse for you to get your mind all worked up. You’ve got to look after the quality of your mind, because the quality of your mind is what determines what you’re going to do. If you let other people’s attitudes infect your attitude, you’re behaving irresponsibly. So think in those terms until you get the mind ready to settle down." ~ Thanissaro...

"Realize that the kind of speech that human beings engage in is sometimes well meaning and sometimes not well meaning. Sometimes it’s true and sometimes it’s false. Sometime it’s gentle; sometimes it’s harsh. Sometimes it’s outrageous. So when someone says something outrageous to you, that’s not the first time that’s happened in the world. You’re not the only person who’s being subjected to that. Everybody, even the Buddha, was subjected to criticism – totally unfair. Just chalk that up to the fact that you were born as a human being and this is the kind of stuff that human beings are subject to. This reflection is not meant to make you totally passive, but at least it gets you emotionally out of the issue. Then you can look at it from a more objective standard. What would be an effective thing to say right now?" ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Deconstruct Your Emotions"

"This is the normal way of the human race. If you don’t like unkind speech, hurtful speech, untrue speech, find some other place to be born. But for the time being, you’re here right now. So just take this as something normal. When you see it outside as normal, your mind can stay normal as well. That’s how your goodness doesn’t get shattered, doesn’t get wounded by these things. You can still make up your mind, “I’m going to do good in this world, regardless of what other people say.” As long as you know for sure that it’s good, stick with it. Don’t let other people’s opinions get in the way. After all, the goodness you do will be yours. The words they say are theirs, so leave them as theirs, and things are a lot more peaceful in the world." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Hurtful Words"

"The Buddha says that there are basically two kinds of speech, pleasant speech and unpleasant speech. He divides them into different ways of being pleasant and unpleasant. There’s well-meaning and ill-meaning speech, harsh and gentle, timely and untimely, true and false. These categories of speech can be found all over the world. So when you’re the person to whom untimely, unkind, untrue, ill-meaning speech is directed, there’s nothing really strange about that. This is part of the human condition." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Stop Shooting Yourself"

"A lot of people like the brahma-vihāras . It feels good to be sitting here thinking, “May all beings be happy” or to think of anyone who’s suffering and send compassion: “May that person be free from suffering.” You see people who are happy or doing things that are good, you’re happy for them. Those are pleasant things to think about, and you feel good about yourself thinking them. But you have to realize the brahma-vihāras are not entirely pleasant, especially the first three, because after all they’re involved in wishes. May all beings be happy. May all those who are suffering be free from their suffering. May all those who are happy or doing good things, may they continue to be happy. May, may, may. But you look at the world. Not everybody is happy. A lot of people are suffering or doing things that are going to cause suffering both for other people now and for themselves on into the future. And there are some people who are happy and yet are abusing their happiness. So the ...

"The important thing is that you not get overwhelmed by the fact that things are not going well — because look at human life as a whole. Things don’t go well in human life. The body ages, gets sick, and dies. Nobody wants that, but it happens. We have to develop the kind of habit that’s not fazed by aging, not fazed by illness, not even fazed by death. You try to develop the warrior spirit that’s not overwhelmed by anything. When the battle’s not going well, the people who run away are sure to lose. It’s not that great soldiers never have setbacks. They have setbacks, but they learn how not to get overwhelmed by them. They take them as a challenge. Aging is a setback. Illness is a setback. Death is the ultimate one, but you don’t have to be overwhelmed by it. This is the good news offered by the Buddha: that you can train the mind so that none of these things will faze you. None of them will overwhelm you. So you keep working away and away and away at this habit of being truthful,...

"Human history is filled with people doing disagreeable things. So drop the perception that you or your loved ones are being especially victimized. Mistreatment is a common thing, and anger is not going to help you deal with it effectively. You’ve got to clear your head if you want your response to injustice to have a good effect. So try to develop some equanimity around the fact that injustice is universal, and then see what you can do most effectively in response to this particular instance of it." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "With Each & Every Breath: A Guide to Meditation"

"When you look frankly at the world, you realize that if you really wish for people to be happy – if it’s a sincere wish and not just a little happy, happy, happy thought you put in the mind – you find that looking at the world gets painful. You wonder: Why can’t we just get along? You look around at people, and for some reason they keep on finding ways of not getting along. You’d think it should be easy for people to learn how to cooperate, to treat one another with respect, and yet they don’t. And as the Buddha pointed out, it’s going to get worse, this human world of ours, before it gets better. This is why equanimity is the most refined of all the brahmavihāras . It’s not a wish; it’s a statement of fact. All beings are the owners of their actions, heir to their actions. Whatever they do, for good or for evil, to that will they fall heir. Period. It’s a chastening thought, but one that you can hold on to and not suffer nearly so much. Ajaan Fuang commented that mettā needs up...