This is a process that takes time and there’s nothing wrong with you as a person because it’s taking time. This is just the way things are.

"Sometimes we feel that if we push, push, push, then things will go faster, but there are a lot of things in this world that don’t respond well to pushing in that way, especially when the causes and effects are delicate, as they are with the breath and with the mind. In cases like that, you want to bring a more nurturing attitude, to be willing to sit with things as they develop slowly. It’s not the case that we’re just accepting things as they are and leaving them that way. We’re accepting them as they are with the purpose of figuring out the best way to develop them in the right direction. That will depend a lot on them, not just on our own sense of wanting them to move fast.

It’s like growing rice or any kind of plant. You want the plant to be a certain height because you know when it gets that tall it’s going to bear fruit or grains. But all you’ve got is this little tiny, tiny plant in the ground. What are you going to do? If you pull on it to stretch it and make it tall, you’re going to kill it. You’ll pull it out by the roots and that’ll be the end of the plant. You have to learn either from observing on your own or from what other people have told you from what they’ve done in the past, what nourishes a plant. In this case, the plant needs water and sun, and it needs you to make sure that you take the bugs off it. Then it’ll grow on its own at its own pace. Your duty is simply to make sure that the causes are continually there.

In other words, picking off the bugs means picking off any unskillful attitudes in the mind. You look at them and regard them as something separate. Impatience is there. Okay impatience is there, but you’re aware of the impatience, which means there’s an awareness there, too. They’re two different things. See if you can side with the awareness and just let the impatience go.

As I said, sometimes this depends on having a sense of ease with the breath. It calms things and soothes the roughness of your nerves. Sometimes it requires that you reason with yourself that this is a process that takes time and there’s nothing wrong with you as a person because it’s taking time. This is just the way things are."

~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "A Safe Haven Through Alertness"

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