Instead of letting your anger take over when you’re not satisfied with the things that are happening, when people are not acting in ways that are wise and conducive to true happiness, you try to get your wisdom to take over.

"In our practice, we try to have goodwill [mettā] for all beings, which means that we not only wish that they be happy, but also that they create the causes for true happiness. Otherwise, the happiness is not going to happen. You have to understand happiness in the context of karma. Our goodwill for all beings doesn’t mean that they will all act in good ways or that they will all be happy. We’re trying to make that our underlying intention as we deal with our own mind, as we deal with other people so that all our actions come from a skillful motivation.

An important part of this training is to realize that the opposite of goodwill should not be ill will. In other words, when people are not acting in ways that are conducive to happiness, we don’t have ill will for them. The alternative should be equanimity, which doesn’t mean indifference. It means learning to put certain things aside, learning to put your hopes and preferences aside, and to look at the situation: What can be done? What can’t be done? What are your priorities?

When your priorities are clear, you realize that some things are more important than others. The things that are not important you have to put off to the side. This is actually the most effective way of getting things done. I was reading about a woman general in the Army whose policy every day was to rank the ten most important things that had to be done that day from one to ten, and then she’d cross out everything from three on down, to focus on the top two. That was how she got things done.

In this way, instead of letting your anger take over when you’re not satisfied with the things that are happening, when people are not acting in ways that are wise and conducive to true happiness, you try to get your wisdom to take over."

~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "In Accordance with the Dhamma"

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