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Non-Reactive Judgment (extract)

"Pass judgment in a way that doesn’t debilitate you. That’s the main problem with most people’s inner critic. It passes judgment and leaves no room for improvement, passes judgment and leaves no room for believing that you can actually do something right. Your inner critic has to be trained to understand that it is possible to put an end to suffering and you can do it. You have to be responsible, but you are capable and you really will benefit. That’s the other part of the bad inner critic, the part that says, “No matter how hard you try, it’s going to be a waste, so don’t even bother.” That inner critic has to be banished and replaced, not with an uncritical mind, but with a more skillfully critical mind — starting with teaching yourself to be non-reactive. You can see unskillful things in you and you don’t get worked up about them. You recognize them as unskillful and then you try to be very matter-of-fact in overcoming them. So that’s how non-reactivity functions. It’s a suppo...
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It’s not because people are good that you spread goodwill to them. It’s because you don’t want to harm them. And this desire should apply to yourself as well.

"If you have trouble feeling goodwill [mettā] for yourself, ask yourself why. You might respond, “Well, I’m not a good person,” or whatever, but that doesn’t matter. It’s not because people are good that you spread goodwill to them. It’s because you don’t want to harm them. And this desire should apply to yourself as well." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Unsentimental Goodwill"
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The principle of kamma was designed for times when people really are seething with hatred, when they have to be reminded that you can’t put aside your principles when life is in danger.

"We saw all that insanity after 9/11, where people were willing to throw morality out the window because they were so scared. There was even that Buddhist teacher who said, “This principle that hatred is never appeased by hatred, that it’s only appeased by non-hatred [i.e. goodwill,]” was totally useless. Didn’t have any practical application when things were so uncertain. Actually, though, that principle was designed for times when people really are seething with hatred, when they have to be reminded that you can’t put aside your principles in a situation like that. When life is in danger, your first impulse may be not your best impulse at all. You need clear-cut precepts to keep reminding you that under no circumstances would you kill, steal, have illicit sex, lie, or take intoxicants. That’s why the precepts are so simple, to be easy to remember in difficult situations." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "The Ennobling Path"
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Equanimity is the internal antidote to irritation. Instead of seething inside while trying to maintain a calm exterior, you wisely consider the truth of the principle of kamma, so that your attitude of calm can seep deeper into the heart.

"Equanimity is the internal attitude that gives strength to your composure and forbearance. As we noted in the previous chapter, equanimity is the internal antidote to irritation. Instead of seething inside while trying to maintain a calm exterior, you wisely consider the truth of the principle of kamma, so that your attitude of calm can seep deeper into the heart." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Undaunted: The Buddha’s Teachings on Aging, Illness, Death, & the Deathless"
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Think about other beings: They have their sufferings as well. They want happiness as well. So in one sense, we’re all in this together, and you have to think about how your sufferings fit in with the rest of the sufferings of the world.

"The more limited, the more narrow our concerns are, the bigger the sufferings in life are going to seem, and the more overwhelming. If we’re going to work on them, we have to make sure they don’t seem so overwhelming. We have to make our mind larger than they are so they don’t consume all our attention. Think about other beings: They have their sufferings as well. They want happiness as well. So in one sense, we’re all in this together, and you have to think about how your sufferings fit in with the rest of the sufferings of the world. To what extent are you actually causing other people to suffer? Also, remember that there are a lot of people out there who are suffering a lot more than you are right now. Even though you don’t feel their sufferings, at least it’s important to remember them to get a sense of perspective on where you are and what your problems are so that you can tackle them with more confidence — realizing as you’re sitting here meditating, it’s not just your iss...
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Good results don’t come simply because you want them to. Narcissism is not the Great Way. You learn from your actions — that’s why we’re focused on our actions and on their results.

"You have to put your preferences aside. That old Zen saying that the Great Way is not difficult for those with no preferences: It doesn’t mean you just give up preferences of all kinds. You prefer to get skillful results and you prefer to gain awakening. What it means is that you don’t stick to your old ways of doing things, saying that “This is the way I’m going to do things, this is the kind of person I am, and this is how it has to be, and I want to get good results that way.” They don’t come simply because you want them to. Narcissism is not the Great Way. You learn from your actions — that’s why we’re focused on our actions and on their results." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Focused on Results" (Meditations9)
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Equanimity is said to be the highest of the brahmaviharas, because, to be skillful, it requires a large element of wisdom. It’s a particular kind of acceptance. And it’s a particular kind of indifference.

"Look at the words of the reflection: “All beings are owners of their actions. Whatever they do, for good or for evil, to that will they fall heir.” It’s a recognition of responsibility, and it’s a recognition of cause and effect. This is one of the reasons why equanimity is said to be the highest of the brahmaviharas, because, to be skillful, it requires a large element of wisdom. It’s a particular kind of acceptance. And it’s a particular kind of indifference. The acceptance here is that if you want happiness, you’ve got to do things to find that happiness. You accept the principle that your actions make the difference between whether your goodwill will actually be brought into reality or whether something’s going to get in the way. The indifference is indifference to ideas that would look for happiness in other ways, aside from your own actions — such as depending on some outside power or some outside being to come and do things for you. You have to be indifferent to those id...
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