Thanissaro Bhikkhu on Equanimity

"The thought of someone you’ve lost or some thing that you’ve lost? Reflect on impermanence and inconstancy: These things are all made to be lost. Think of Ajaan Chah’s analogy: to think of the cup as already broken. This doesn’t mean that you treat it casually. You actually take very good care of it. But part of the mind has to be prepared that someday it’s going to break. The Buddha compares people to pots. As he says, all pots get broken eventually. Whether it takes a long or a short time, they’re all heading to be broken. In the same way, people are all headed to being broken. The world is broken. It’s never going to be perfect. If you can accept that, then you can live with it, and do what you can to make it a little bit better. But particularly, do what you can to make yourself better, make yourself more reliable, so that the changes of the world don’t lead to changes inside, at least not to the deterioration of anything good inside. When you can maintain this kind of soli...

"The Buddha also talks about the mind being expansive like the earth when you’re meeting with difficult situations in life. People say horrible things to you. They lie about you or say mean things deliberately to hurt your feelings. They lie about people you love. They hurt people you’re concerned about. They attack you physically. Or, unrelated to what anyone else does, you simply experience really severe pain. The Buddha says, “Make your mind large like earth.” There’s no way for anyone to do anything to the earth to prevent the earth from being itself. They can dig into it, spit on it, urinate anywhere or even demand the earth be without earth, but that doesn’t change the nature of the earth, because earth is so large and expansive. In the same way, you want your goodwill [mettā] to be large and expansive like the earth." ~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "A Mind Like Earth (2011)"

"You learn how not to get fazed by criticism, especially from the people you respect. This doesn’t mean that you brush it off, simply that you don’t react emotionally. That allows you to look at the criticism to see exactly where it’s right: “How can I benefit from the criticism?” Then you can develop the attitude that Ajaan Lee talks about, where you can take anything that the world throws at you and see that it’s got its good side as well as its bad. No matter how good it may seem in terms of the world, it has its bad side. Wealth, fame, praise: Those things you’ve got to watch out for. At the same time, the things that the world says are bad have their good side as well. Material loss, loss of status, criticism: You can learn from loss, you can learn from criticism, but you learn best when you’re not reacting, when you can develop this sense of just knowing that whatever’s there is simply there. You’re not getting carried away by all the embroidery that you tend to add to these...

"So our immediate reaction to danger should be not to follow our instincts to get angry or fearful, but to think of the larger principle of maintaining the good state of our minds. And we’ve got good advice from the Buddha on how to do that. There’s a passage where Ven. Sariputta talks about recollecting the Buddha, the Dhamma, and the Sangha. And it’s interesting for several reasons: One, he says if you’re being attacked, you should remember the Buddha’s teaching on what to do when you’re attacked. Even if bandits were sawing off your limbs with a two handled saw, you should not have ill will for them. Even for them, you should have goodwill. And so, you should make a resolve, “I’m going to follow the Buddha’s teachings.” And Sariputta says you also try to develop what he called skillful equanimity. Notice he places a condition on it: It has to be skillful. Not all equanimity is skillful. Indifference is not skillful; just giving up is not skillful, saying, “Well, I’ll just have...